Scream Queens “Rapunzel, Rapunzel” Review (Season 2 Episode 8)

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On the latest episode of “Scream Queens,” the newest patient at the C.A.R.E. Institute turned out to be a familiar face from the main characters’ past, Dr. Holt struggled with making a real connection with Chanel; and Zayday and Chamberlain closed in on the identity of the Green Meanie killer(s), in “Rapunzel, Rapunzel.”

We began with the return of none other than Season One’s Wes Gardner (Oliver Hudson), who was admitted to the hospital with abdominal pains. Upon his arrival, he specifically requested Munsch to work on the case, and we got to hear what happened in the interim between last season and this one, in terms of his and Munsch’s relationship.

It seems the two ran off together to Oregon, where Wes got a job teaching English at a local University, while living out some of his longtime dreams of growing a beard, living in a log cabin and formulating his own microbrew. Meanwhile, Cathy, unbeknownst to him, was blocking all his calls from daughter Grace, fearing she would come between them.

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After a year passed without their talking, Wes bottomed out, writing a flop book about the history of quarters, lost his teaching job, and got in trouble for giving people botulism with a tainted brew of beer he concocted that accidentally had dead mice in it! To add insult to injury, Munsch left him high and dry, all of which caused him to develop a psychological disorder- trichophagia– aka the pulling out and eating of one’s own hair- hence the abdominal pains.

A short surgery later, the doctors remove a giant hairball from within his body cavity as a direct result. Thankfully, Wes had been cured of the disorder by a pep talk from personal motivator Tony Robbins, and had just assumed he’d pooped the hair out, but obviously, such was not the case. With that behind him, he decides to see if Munsch wants to pick up where they left off, which she does, much to Holt’s consternation.

It seems that Holt and Chanel have been struggling to connect, mostly because of the age gap between them resulting in their having little in common. Well, that and the fact that Chanel just lies there during sex- and even Snapchats! After Holt calls out Munsch’s name during a sexual encounter between the two, Chanel fears she’s losing him, so she asks her fellow Chanels for advice.

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Hester thinks Chanel should appeal to Holt’s past, thus showing Chanel’s interest in him is real and that she is putting forth the effort to get to know him and his past. Alas, the clueless Chanels, unable to determine what Holt’s actual age is, way overshoot the mark by throwing him a WW2-era themed shindig, complete with costumes- Chanel as Rosie the Riveter, Chanel #5 as Shirley Temple (!), for instance- and elaborate staging.

Obviously, as Holt isn’t THAT old, he’s deeply offended that they all think he’s one of the “Greatest Generation” and storms out. Later on, he apologizes, saying it was the thought that counts, and doubles down on his commitment to Chanel. But this proves to be a partial ruse, as he goes to see Munsch after and tells her he wants to have a long-term affair with her on the side.

He tells her to keep on seeing Wes, and whenever she has needs he isn’t up to meeting to call him and he’ll come running and he’ll do the same with Chanel. Munsch agrees to this, and the two get started right away, hooking up in her office. This comes in spite of the fact that Munsch still believes that Holt is the Green Meanie, and that he attacked her and Wes earlier in the episode in a jealous rage, though they were obviously able to fend him off.

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Meanwhile, Zayday and Chamberlain concentrate their efforts to find the killer by agreeing to a plan to lure him (or her) in and obtain a piece of his/her costume, so that they can try and track down where it was bought, in hopes that it would lead to the identity of the killer. As Chamberlain points out, it’s needlessly convoluted and dangerous, but it does ultimately work, and Zayday does indeed get a piece of the killer’s outfit, after a run-in with him/her.

She then goes all over town looking for the right costume/fabric shop before finally stumbling upon the one in question, where a creepy outfit maker (Bill Oberst, Jr., whose packed resume is something to see, including the likes of “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” and “Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies”) fills her in on the details. It seems that he made three of the Green Meanie costumes: one around 1986, another a few months back, and then one last one mere weeks ago.

He also says that two of them, including the 1986 one, were commissioned by an older woman, who Zayday immediately recognizes as Jane Hollis, aka Dr. Cascade’s mom. After unsuccessfully trying to reach Chamberlain- he’s blocking her texts so as to curb his over-texting her, on the advice of the Chanels- she unwisely decides to pay a visit to Jane alone, who admits to pretty much everything, including the fact that her brother, who since died, committed the 1986 murders at her behest.

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Jane also admits that she told her son that, should anyone try and open the hospital again, they’d kill people there until they shut it down again, in revenge for her husband’s untimely death, though she doesn’t name who her son is. Of course, she does so, because she has no intention of letting Zayday go anywhere, and to that end, drugs her tea, causing Zayday to pass out. When she wakes up, she’s tied up at the bottom of a well, a la Season One, “Silence of the Lambs”-style, with what appears to be swamp water flowing beneath her.

As all of this is going on, Chamberlain is working overtime to keep his mind off of texting Zayday and while disposing of some medical waste, he notices the hairball that was removed from Wes earlier has something in it. He takes a closer look and sees a receipt for a machete and a chainsaw at a hardware store, a quarter (oh, the irony) and a piece of the same material used in the Green Meanie costume.

Chamberlain, also unwisely, decides to go to Wes’ place alone to confront him about all this, where Wes admits that he’s there to get revenge on the Chanels, for what they put his daughter through. Contrary to what he said earlier in the episode, Grace hasn’t been doing well since the Wallace murders, and is, in fact, interred in an institution in Stanford recovering. It turns out he swallowed the hair on purpose, in order to get admitted to the hospital, so that he could get in and out without any questions.

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As with Zayday, Wes only tells Chamberlain this because he has no intention of letting him leave. To that end, he stabs Chamberlain to death, after faking him out and acting like he was only joking about the whole being the Green Meanie thing. Afterwards, he listens to Chamberlain’s voice mail and overhears Zayday say that Jane is the mother of the other killer, so now he knows how to find the other Green Meanie- or one more of them, at least.

As we see in the preview for next week, as with last season, the killers will all be teaming up soon after this, and pooling their resources to kill the Chanels once and for all- and with a little help from Hester, it appears. With only two episodes left, who will be left standing in the end? We shall see.

This was another fun episode, this one directed by the queen of scream herself, star Jamie Lee Curtis, who obviously knows her stuff, after having done more than a few of this sort of thing over the course of her career. To that end, she inserts a few nods to her illustrious past, including a “Halloween” homage (the movie, not the holiday, obvi) and an amusing one to her mid-80’s clunker “Perfect,” where she played an aerobics instructor.

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Other highlights included Chanel tweaking Chanel #5 about trichophagia (“How have you never had that?”) and her great reaction to it (it was like, “Now that you mention it…you’re right!”), Wes announcing he was working on a new book about “historical playlists,” Zayday’s wacky “gag of the day” bit, Chanel and Holt’s age-induced woes- particularly that demented dinner party- and the genuinely spooky costume shop scene (love the unicorn mask with multiple horns- would that make it a quadricorn?).

As ever, we end my review with a look at the music featured in the episode, complete with links, and my fave quotes from the show!

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Song List

“Missing You”– John Waite (as Wes recounts his story to everyone)

“Waiting for a Girl Like You”– Foreigner (during Chanel and Holt’s sex scene and Zayday’s trap for the Green Meanie)

“Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”– The Andrews Sisters (during the Chanels’ 40s-themed party for Holt)

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Favorite Quotes

Munsch, after Holt tells her a new patient was an old paramour of hers: “It’s not Hannity, is it? That was supposed to be WAY on the D.L.”

Chanel #5, on Wes’ condition: “How did he get that much hair in his stomach?”
Chanel: “Duh. He’s obviously been dating one of those Occupy Wall Street or Pussy Riot girls who think not shaving their cooter is some kind of political protest against the patriarchy or something.”
Chanel #3, indicating Wes’ stomach contents: “Are you saying that’s a giant Ziploc bag of Commie pubes?”

Wes, explaining how he got to where he was now: “Anyway, the beer company was a bust, my first book tanked and I lost my job at Rural Oregon University because I refused to use trigger warnings before screening horror movies to the students.”
Chanel, shrugging knowingly: “Obama’s America.”

Munsch, reminiscing about Wes, much to the dismay of everyone: “I used to get naked and put him in a headlock in between my thighs, then look in the mirror and try to pretend I was a porn star from the 1970’s.”

Munsch, telling Holt her intentions with Wes: “I think there’s a very good chance that Wes and I will be exchanging a hairball or two if you know what I mean.”

Zayday’s gag of the day, after she hears a patient has tuberculosis: “1918 called, it wants its disease back!”

Chamberlain, on a online relationship he had: “When we actually met, it turned out to be my cousin Leon catfishing me ’cause he was mad that I took the last turkey leg 2 years ago at Thanksgiving. But that boy can write some cyber. He need to do an erotic novel.”

Chanel, after Holt calls her out for not paying attention to his story about Watergate and Nixon: “I’m listening. Your uncle sold Waterford Crystal to Cynthia Nixon.”

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Holt, citing his inspiration for becoming a doctor: “My mother wanted me to become a doctor because she loved ‘M.A.S.H.’.”
Chanel: “Wait, what? Like mashed potatoes?”
Holt: “Only the most popular show in the history of TV.”
Chanel: “I think you mean ‘Boy Meets World.’ Uh, hello. Cory and Topanga- the greatest love story ever.” (True that, lol.)

Chanel, on her efforts to get to know Holt’s era: “I listened to the oldies station all day and I learned about Blink 182 and Smash Mouth and Chumbawamba!”

Chanel, on her approach to sex: “I’m hot. I don’t have to be good in bed. I just lay here and let hot dudes pork me. But for you, I’ll let you look at my boobs. [Looks down] They’re right here.”

Munsch, on Wes: “Oh! Something I learned from him? The male multiple orgasm? Not a myth.”

Munsch, on Chanel to Holt: “Rest assured, you are not the first seaman to have been fooled by the St. Elmo’s Fire of a young girl’s furburger.”

Chanel, after Holt promises to take her shopping: “If you play your cards right, I may even move a little [during sex].”

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Holt, reacting to Chanel’s dinner party: “I was offended and actually afraid for the future of our country.”

Munsch, realizing what’s in it for her, if she takes on Holt as a lover, on top of Wes: “Double the pounding.”

Chamberlain, on Grace: “Chanel said her hair was freakishly big, like, you know, the dude from ‘Nightmare Before Christmas,’ or one of those Macy Day parade floats.”

Wes, on Grace: “She was on her way to doing something big, like working for Elizabeth Warren or being an adorable yet completely not ironic hat model.”

Wes, citing how he knew Grace had gone off the deep end: “During that Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud: she sided with Katy.”

Wes, on the reputation of Stanford Mental Asylum: “You have to score in the 99th percentile in your SATs just to get in.”

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Well, that about does it for this week! Thanks for reading, and join me next week for the next episode!