The Vampire Diaries “Detoured on Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell” Review (Season 8 Episode 6)

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On the latest episode of “The Vampire Diaries,” things came to a head with Seline’s plan for the twins, as Caroline and Alaric rushed to save them, with an assist from Stefan, while Enzo continued to struggle with Sybil’s continuing hold on him, in the long-windedly titled “Detoured on Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell.” (It’s an obscure reference to a line of dialogue spoken by Caroline from way back in Season 1, Episode 17, “Let the Right One In”- thanks, Google!)

We began with Caroline and Alaric understandably calling the cops to report their kids missing, and to put out an APB on Seline, as well as an Amber Alert on the kids themselves. Seline does call in, but won’t say where she is, resulting in Alaric vowing to not just kill her outright, but torture her beforehand for what she’s done, which, remarkably, seems to take Seline aback a bit. (What did she expect- for him to forgive and forget?)

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As it turns out, they’re at a restaurant, and are soon unexpectedly joined by Sybil, with Damon in tow. While there, she has Damon call Enzo, who has seemingly been okay since Bonnie managed to break him free of Sybil’s hold. Unwisely, he answers, and is greeted by Sybil’s siren song, which instantaneously causes him enormous pain- and allows her access to his brain again, where she immediately proceeds to torture him mentally, though he feels it as if it is real torture.

Note to Enzo- maybe don’t answer the phone when the people you’re trying to keep your distance from call, even if it’s an old pal- especially if you know good and well he’s gone bad. Should have stayed in bed with Bonnie, you lucky MF. And, yes, these two together still make me cringe. I’ve tried, but I just can’t even. Sorry, Benzo fans.

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As Caroline and Alaric head out to look for the kids, she not only forbids Stefan from helping, fearing he’ll side with Damon, even over the twins’ safety, she goes so far as to return his engagement ring, which was a bit uncalled for, TBH. Naturally, she would come to regret that move later on- after it was too late to take it back.

We discover that Seline has been MIA since 1883- and that she allowed Sybil to rot in the Armory’s basement caves for no less than 100 years, which would explain the ill will Sybil has towards her. Interestingly, contrary to my previous assessment, it really does seem like Sybil is more the “bad one” now than Seline, despite Seline’s intentions with the twins, who she wants to offer up to Cade, albeit when they’re old enough to rightfully agree to it- which they have to do willingly-in exchange for the “sisters” being let go from his clutches.

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I mean, granted, she’s no prize, mind you, being as how she wants to enslave two innocent- albeit magical- children to save her own ass, but by her logic, she’s doing so to pay back her sister for getting them into this situation in this first place, as well as to make up for the whole 100 years thing. Unfortunately for her, Sybil has other plans, thanks to Damon, who has some ideas of his own, as he is not too far gone to realize that sacrificing the twins is low, even by his standards.

As Stefan resorts to going to Matt to try and help Caroline and Alaric behind the scenes, Bonnie brings over Enzo, in hopes that Stefan can help him as well, by doing that mind meld thing he’s done before. He does, and sees that Sybil is literally inside his thoughts, and has him strapped down to a table, where she is “operating” on him, removing his guts and the like. Even though it’s all in his mind, it certainly feels like the real deal, as Stefan sees for himself.

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However, on the plus side, as Sybil is doing this while sitting in the restaurant, ever the multitasker, he also gets a bead on their location, which he shares with Matt, who tracks down the exact diner. They call Caroline and let her and Alaric know, but Sybil was aware that Stefan was there and alerts the others before they can arrive.

In addition, the Amber Alert goes out, and everyone there sees that the sirens have the girls in question, so they would have had to leave anyway. After using her siren song to cover their tracks, they do just that, so that when Caroline and Alaric arrive, the diner is cleared out entirely, leaving them once again without a lead on the girls’ whereabouts.

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The sirens run afoul of a police roadblock, and almost get away by way of Seline using her siren song yet again, but then one of the kids gets grumpy and lashes out at Sybil, causing the spell to break and the cop to see the kids after all. When he reacts and tries to stop them, it forces Seline to have to kill him. The dead cop gives Caroline and Alaric another clue as to where the girls are, at least to a certain extent.

Damon takes all concerned to a nearby motel, wanting to get into the spell to contact Cade sooner than later, rather than waiting a decade for the girls to be old enough, as per Seline’s intentions. He tells Seline he has a better idea as to how to expedite things, and though she is dubious, they nonetheless prepare to summon Cade now, rather than later.

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Sybil does admit that, contrary to what she told Stefan, that she voluntarily entered into the deal with Cade, after all, rather than it being done to her by Seline, as she had previously claimed, admitting that she was scared to die- and of what might come next. To that end, she warns Damon that Cade can be awfully persuasive and to watch himself, especially when it comes to making a deal with him, but Damon claims to have a plan to dupe him. (And Damon’s plans NEVER go awry, right?)

At Bonnie’s insistence, Stefan mind-melds with Enzo again, and this time Sybil directly addresses him, telling Stefan to come alone to the motel, and she’ll make him a deal for the twins- but only if he doesn’t involve someone else. To that end, Stefan gives Caroline and Alaric directions to the wrong motel, while he heads to the right one.

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Understandably pissed, Alaric vows that, when they get the twins back, he’s going to take them far away from all this until everything is settled- and without Caroline, as trouble seems to follow her like a dark cloud. Caroline is taken aback, but he reminds her that, birth mother or not, they are his and Jo’s kids, after all, and never really were hers in the first place. Obviously, she’s hurt by this, but he isn’t wrong, either, as she eventually comes to realize.

The twins do a spell at the hotel pool, which causes the water to catch on fire- was it me, or did the words they said sound straight-up right out of “Harry Potter”? Lol. This siren thing is kind of silly all around, let’s face it, between this kind of stuff and the whole notion of singing to get out of situations and Sybil playing doctor in Enzo’s brain. Let’s hope Cade is a bit more of a formidable villain.

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Stefan arrives, only to run afoul of Sybil’s “welcoming committee,” as she puts it, aka all the denizens of the motel, which she has compelled to attack him when he arrives. As she tells Damon, she needs him in a dark and violent place when Cade arrives for their plan to work, and nothing says that like killing innocents. Damon runs along to “help,” as the sisters and the twins continue to try and raise Cade to talk to them.

Stefan manages to fight his way through most of the people he encounters without killing them outright, at least until one particularly hulking guy comes at him, very nearly staking him to death, forcing him to kill the guy. An arriving Damon doesn’t so much help as agg Stefan on to kill someone (“Ouch- that’s gonna leave a mark…on your soul”- he says, snarkily), heeding Sybil’s “advice”- not that he probably has much choice, really.

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Sure enough, Cade arrives and is intrigued by Seline’s offer to trade the twins for themselves. He talks to the girls to suss out their interest, but then Sybil puts forth a counter-offer: what if she traded him two bloodthirsty vampire brothers instead, who were all too willing to serve him, if it meant saving these two little girls? And unlike for the girls, he wouldn’t have to wait ten years for them to do it- these two were ready to go now.

Damon likewise offers the same deal to Stefan, who willingly accepts it, which he tells Cade shortly thereafter. Sure enough, Cade agrees, and the girls are set free to return to Caroline and Alaric unharmed. Of course, every deal has its catch, and in Sybil’s case, it was to exclude Seline from the deal altogether, as revenge for leaving her at the Armory all those years- not to mention getting her into all this in the first place. So, Sybil’s done with Cade, but Seline…not so much.

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As a free woman, I guess she opts to let Enzo go back to normal as well, though that might just be because she doesn’t have her siren powers anymore, though she did hold onto her immortality, because, why not go big? Sybil does mention having some other sort of plan to execute, but we don’t get anything on that just yet.

The twins are taken back to the Armory to be checked out, where Alaric apologizes for being harsh with Caroline earlier. However, she admits he wasn’t wrong, and agrees he should take the girls away from here- and from her- until all of this is resolved. In turn, Caroline apologizes to Stefan for giving him his ring back like she did, and says they’re back on again.

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Unfortunately, it’s all too late, as Stefan breaks the news as to what he had to do to get the twins back in the first place. His only ask to Cade was for one day to wrap up his affairs, including spending one last day with Caroline. So, my apologies to all you Stefoline ‘shippers, because, unlike Benzo- at least for the time being, I’m sure they’ll find a way to torture Bonnie again, soon enough- those two aren’t getting a happy ending anytime soon.

Matt and Alaric amusingly toast to their being the only sane, human ones amongst this motley crew of wackadoodles at a bar, when Damon arrives. These two have had quite enough of Damon for a lifetime, so they promptly start shooting him, then Alaric beats the tar out of him for good measure. Matt tells him to get on with it, and Alaric stakes Damon right on the spot, saying as he does so that “this one’s for Tyler.”

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As Damon smiles, seemingly okay with it, and turns blue, we fade to black, and that’s all she wrote for this episode. As Damon is clearly featured in the preview for next week’s episode, he’s obviously going to get better- fans would positively riot if they actually killed Damon, after all- but as to how, no idea. Either way, it looks like a loopy, Christmas-themed episode, and to be the last of the year until the show returns in January, so we’ll see what happens next week, I guess.

I suppose this was a decent enough episode, once again ably directed by star Paul Wesley, in his fifth outing as director for the show. I am glad they resolved the twins thing sooner than later, as it’s always a bit cringe-worthy when shows like this involve kids, even if you know they’re likely not going to go there- as in hurting or killing them. Be that as it may, I suspect the show isn’t done with the Wonder Twins just yet, so we’ll see what’s in store for them on down the line, I suppose.

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As for the rest, I suspected what Damon had in mind long before they revealed it- they’ve sort of been hinting towards it anyway, all season, what with all the comparisons between the siren sisters and the Salvatore bros. It was an interesting reveal to find out that Sybil got herself into this mess more than she let on to Stefan, and that anyone who does has to do so voluntarily, as the Salvatores did here with their own deal with Cade.

Where this heads next is anyone’s guess, but I still maintain that Katherine and Georgie will team up on the “Dark Side” to help out the Salvatores somehow, and that the whole thing will likely end with them defeating Cade and allowing all his imprisoned souls to go free in the process, which might not be a good thing, given how nasty some of them are. The endgame Big Bad may actually end up being a whole mess of them. (Or they might just proceed directly to Hell itself and not pass Go.)

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What say you? Any predictions as to what “The Vampire Diaries” has in store for us next? What is Sybil’s secondary plan? How about Damon’s? (In terms of how he plans to combat Cade.) What will Seline do now that she’s been duped by Sybil? How will she retaliate? Do you think the twins will figure into things? If so, how? Are Caroline and Stefan doomed as a couple? How about Bonnie and Enzo? Do you care? What did you think of the episode in general? Sound off down below, and see you next week!