Scream Queens “Beware of Young Girls” Review (Season 1 Episode 7)

Ouija 2

On the latest episode of “Scream Queens,” fittingly-titled “Beware of Young Girls,” the chess pieces continued to move into place, as the heat was on to track down the killer. More than ever, it became clearer and clearer that the motives at hand were undoubtedly tied into the past, and that it was all about settling past scores- and then some. In every war, there are going to be casualties, including some innocent bystanders, but the real question isn’t who will fall, but who will be left standing when the dust settles.

Here, we met a few new pawns in the game, namely Feather McCarthy, played by real-life blogger (thankfully, not bologna-related) and Rookie magazine editor Tavi Gevinson, named one of the 25 most influential teens by Time magazine last year; and Steven Munsch, aka Dean Munsch’s ex-husband, played by Philip Casnoff, of “Oz” fame. It seems that Feather inexplicably fell for the 50 year-old Steven not too terribly long ago, after he wooed her with Beatles tunes and he ended up leaving his wife for her.

Needless to say, this did not go over well with Dean Munsch, who has longed for revenge against the two home-wreckers, and finally got her chance on tonight’s episode. Noting that it would be easy to kill off her husband and blame it on the rampaging serial killer(s) on the loose, Musch opted to not only do so, but to frame her romantic rival Feather for said crime in the process.

The gambit worked like a charm, and though Musch herself was initially “fingered by the cops,” as Pete put it in his headline in the school newspaper- bit on the nose there, Ryan Murphy, but I’ll allow it, as I sniggered like a eighth-grader when I saw it- and not only arrested, but put in an institution for both her ex-husband’s murder and the other murders on campus, she eventually was set free when Pete and Grace fell for her carefully left “clues” hook, line and sinker, with a little gentle prodding and the proper bait, of course.

The bait in question was the identity of the Kappa baby, though we didn’t get that particular info this week, and I’m dubious if we will next week, either. Whatever the case, Munsch told the two to investigate Feather, dropping hints about her alleged allergy to “deli meat,” which led them to think that Munsch couldn’t have done it, what with her not being able to eat bologna and a partially-eaten sandwich of that ilk being left at the scene of the crime.

Tavi

A quick DNA match and Feather was subsequently arrested, and fitted for a straight-jacket of her own, with a Hannibal Lecter-style Plexiglas jail cell to go with it. I’d say poor Feather, but she kind of walked right into that one, unfortunately for her. Hey, it could have been worse- look what happened to the Dean’s ex-husband, who ended up in pieces and with his head in a fish tank! That, I’m quite sure, was a reference to “He Knows You’re Alone,” best-known for featuring a young Tom Hanks, and for inspiring the opening scene of “Scream 2,” as well as the whole head-in-a-fish-tank thing.

However, there was another in-joke type reference of that sort that I didn’t get on the initial viewing, until I did a little more research before the second one. While I did notice that Gevinson’s hairdo was reminiscent of Mia Farrow’s in the classic shocker “Rosemary’s Baby” and that it was entirely possible that her outfits were likewise inspired by Farrow’s 60’s era looks, there didn’t seem to be any other references to that film beyond that. Then, I looked into the titular song, “Beware of Young Girls,” by Dory Previn, which the show purposefully made sure to show so you knew exactly what was playing in the episode and who was performing it, and what I found was fascinating.

It seems that Previn was a singer-songwriter and multi-Oscar nominee who wrote for Sinatra, Judy Garland, and Tony Bennett, just to name a few. She was also married to frequent collaborator André Previn, who became the then-Dorothy Langan’s husband. However, things took a turn for the worse when Previn took up with…wait for it…none other than the aforementioned Mia Farrow.

He ended up leaving his wife for the younger actress, who was about half his age at the time, and got pregnant while they were still together, which caused a great scandal at the time and drove his poor wife into an institution, where she suffered the indignity of electroshock therapy. When she was released, she began a solo career, writing the song in question directly about Farrow and the experience.

So, obviously, the song choice was no idle selection, given the subject matter at hand with Dean Musch and her ex falling for a younger woman- only with a twist. Though Musch did indeed end up in an institution herself, so did Feather in the end, and with little immediate chance of release, given the damning evidence against her. Leave it to Ryan Murphy to serve a dish of revenge this cold, on Previn’s behalf. Well-played.

Chanel coffin

The other centerpiece of the episode was the funeral and return of Chanel #2, aka Ariana Grande, who reprised her role not only as a corpse- clad in sunglasses, no less!- but also paying a nocturnal visit to Chanel who hallucinated her in a fever dream of sorts brought on by a laxative-type substance called Prunex!

In her vision, Chanel #2 informed Chanel that she was residing in Hell- see below for some choice quotes from this exchange- and warned her that her fellow Chanels were in the process of plotting to kill her, which proved to be right on the money, dream or not. Naturally, Chanel didn’t hesitate to call them out on it, though she was perplexed as to why they were taking so long to try. The answer: none of them could agree on the method of execution.

So, Chanel offered up an alternative- forget trying to kill her, and concentrate instead on catching the “real” killers, namely, Grace and Zayday, who she felt brought the trouble with them when they joined the sorority, and thus, must be the killers. Not sure her reasoning there, given that she herself witnessed Zayday attacked by said killer, but then again, she does know that there are two killers, so I suppose she might think it was Grace who did it, though why she’d attack her own co-conspirator is beyond me.

Of course, it may actually be that Chanel is both trying to eliminate the competition while at the same time take the heat of herself as a suspect in the process. Not unlike what Dean Musch got up to, in other words. Although, I don’t really genuinely suspect Chanel as one of the killers at this point, to be honest.

That said, in a phone call to one of said killers, Gigi intimated that both were male, and that they were in on the fact that what was going on was an act of revenge long-in-the-making. From the sound of it, one was hesitant about killing someone, wanting instead to kidnap them, which didn’t at all sit well with Gigi, who demanded the person in question’s death sooner than later.

In the meantime, she directly steered Grace towards Feather in the first place, with the intention of driving her towards suspecting Musch, obviously, but that obviously back-fired, sort of. Well, in that Munsch eventually got off scot-free from the murder of both her husband and the others, with Feather instead shouldering the blame.

Chad and Earl

Still, all’s well that ends well, and the mission to take the heat off of her certainly worked. It remains to be seen whether her “boys” are up to the task at hand- or who the target is, for that matter. As to whom the target is or who the boys are, that jury remains out. If I had to guess, I’d say that Boone and Earl are the “boys” and perhaps Pete is the target, as he might be getting closer than he knows to the truth. I find it hard to believe that Chad could be guilty of anything beyond being a world-class d-bag, honestly.

The only other guy is Wes that I’m aware of (aside from the head detective on the case, maybe) and Gigi is dating him, so I doubt he’s in on it, even if he might be a little crazy pants his own damn self. (See the below quote on that end as well.) The fact that whoever she was talking to was hesitant to kill the person in question leads me to wonder if the target might not be Chad, which would make sense if either of the killers was Boone or Earl, who are, after all, his Frat brothers. That would make perfect sense, though I’m not sure what Chad knows, and I find it hard to believe that he does, either, or he would have done something about it before now.

Other stuff: Was it me, or did Pete’s angst towards Dean Musch feel a bit staged? Maybe it was just overacting, but I wonder if maybe Pete isn’t also someone who slept with Musch at one point, a la Chad, and maybe he was just making a big to-do about it to throw Grace off the scent that he’s involved somehow. Or he could be serious, and is jealous of Munsch’s involvement with other guys and is trying to take her down as revenge, possibly.

I also find it hard to believe that the whole thing with the painter lady in the institution was just a randomly thrown in scene. I think someone else in the past was a patient there, and that lady will be key in identifying who it is. My guess: Gigi once did some time there at one point. Also brought up in the nuthouse- the fact that Musch all but admitted she killed the former Dean by admitting that she was nearby on the occasion Feather was nearly killed by someone dropping a transistor radio in the tub, which is also what killed the previous Dean.

Funeral

I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention some of the wackier things in the episode, including the fact that Chanel #2 requested she be cremated and shot into space! Also, why didn’t her own parents come to the funeral? That seems harsh. I know they were said to be on a cruise, but they couldn’t have postponed?

Murphy also managed to get in a dig at the movie “Ouija,” another “Nancy Drew” reference, bestiality jokes, a French take on the Beatles’ “Norwegian Wood” (tried to find this one, to no avail), an implication that Carl Sagan, of all people, was in Hell; and the words “manatee,” “turdlets” and- be still my heart- “felchers” as insults flung by Chanel at her underlings. Look up that last one at your own risk- suffice it to say it was so bad I didn’t even feel comfortable linking it here! Yet again proof positive that FOX censors are totally asleep at the wheel for this show, clearly.

That was about it. It was a decent enough episode, though once again the show postponed the inevitable by taking out a character we didn’t even know instead of a major one. With only five episodes left, they’re going to need to step it up sooner than later, and at least one major character needs to bite it or I’m calling bull on all of this. Time to put your money where your mouth is, Ryan Murphy. I’ll allow one more incidental character next week- I’m thinking Jennifer, the candle blogger, but after that, we’re gonna need a biggie.

Scream Queens 2

As always, I end with my favorite quotes:

Chanel, on Chanel #2’s wayward ways: “So, instead of strutting across campus in a beautiful diamond formation, we were forced to walk across campus in a triad formation, like a bunch of hobos because #2 didn’t think she should have to walk behind me.”

Chanel, on the likelihood of the girls contacting Chanel #2 via an Ouija board: “What if Chanel #2 is busy getting Eiffel Towered by Hitler and Satan?”

Gigi, on what she’s looking for in an outfit: “I feel like the jacket needs a fun pattern, like something the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” would wear.”

Gigi, on Wes: “I really like your dad. I like his playlists. I like the borderline creepy way he looks out for you. I that he hasn’t dated anyone in 18 years and somehow makes it not seem super-weird. He’s kind of a perfect guy.”

Feather: “Steven had this old iPod thing that you plug in and it picks up music from the air…”
Grace: “A transistor radio?”

Chanel: “Chanel #2 told me from beyond the grave that you were cheating and then I catch you in bed with a farm animal!”
Chad: “Hey! She is not a farm animal! Her name is Randy and she is a non-human helper/companion.”

Chad: “You just can’t let dead people get to you. They’re super pissed-off they’re dead, and they’re coming from a place of anger.”

Dean Munsch: “I don’t trust a girl with a huge bush of pubic hair. Makes me think she has something to hide.”

Chanel, on Hester’s purse stash: “Why do you have nine tampons? How big is your cooch?”

Chanel #2: “Despite what you heard, Hell sucks. It’s not fun. Yes, there are waterslides, but they’re lined with razorblades and you splash down into a pool of boiling pee. Also, zero dinosaurs…Jesus broke in and stole them.”

Chanel #2, on why she framed and lied to Chanel and slept with Chad: “I wanted what you had, and I really needed my tube packed… I don’t know, I’m sorry, I was probably just in a bad mood because Adolph Hitler was motor-boating my boobs.”

Chanel, on the girls’ planned killing method: “Newsflash, felchers, rat poison only works because rodents don’t have a gag reflex. If you gave a human rat poison, they would immediately puke it all up. So, not only would I have survived your attempt on my life, it would have also made me skinnier…I am willing to let bygones be bygones and chalk this attempted murder up to youthful enthusiasm.”

So, what did you think of the latest episode of “Scream Queens”? Who are you leaning towards as suspects, aside from the obvious Gigi? Who else is in on it, and what are their motives? Is her ex the only victim Musch killed? What was up with the painter? Is Pete in on it with someone? How about Boone, what’s he been up to all this time? Could Denise be involved? Who will be the next victim? Sound off on this and more down below, and see you next week!