10 Holiday Lessons You Can Learn From The Robot Chicken and NTSF:SD:SUV:: Christmas Specials

Ahh, Christmas. For most of us, the holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year…if you enjoy standing in long lines, dressing in matching sweaters for Christmas photos and getting into fist fights over the year’s hottest toy (or the last box of candy canes because you waited until December 24th to start your shopping). Adult Swim understands the unique minefield of crazy that is the holidays and in an effort to both help us relax and satirize our favorite festive rituals, the network is offering up NTSF:SD:SUV:: (airing Friday, December 13 at 12:15 a.m. ET/PT) and Robot Chicken (airing Monday, December 16th at 12:00 a.m. ET/PT) Christmas Specials.

I had a chance to watch both of these cheer-filled and bloody holiday spectaculars, and I discovered they were also quite informative. Here are ten holiday lessons I learned from NTSF:SD:SUV::‘s “Wreck the Malls” and Robot Chicken‘s “Born Again Virgin Christmas Special”:

1. Believing in Santa for too long can be hazardous to your health. Especially if he is a terrorist.

Trent’s children learn the true meaning of Christmas on NTSF when a trip to the mall goes horribly awry. Alphonse learns the real lesson though: don’t try to exploit an in with Santa when you’re a grown man and Santa has henchmen.

2. Gumballs can be used as deadly weapons.

You’ll just have to trust me on this one for now.

3. Never underestimate what an angry mob of parents and Ebay sellers locked out of a mall are capable of.

Especially when mobilized by Piper.

4. Spy mommies tell the best bedtime stories.

Even if you lived through them, they’re still thrilling stuff.

5. Karen Gillan is safer at home during the holidays.

Poor Daisy just can’t catch a break, even when she’s trying to be helpful.

6. Elf training is rough.

We leave all of those cookies for Santa, but after Robot Chicken shows you the perils of elf training, you’ll be inclined to leave them a snack too. And a backup map. Seriously, working at the North Pole sucks, guys.

7. We leave Santa too many cookies.

He is only one man with a lot of ground to cover and eating too many cookies…well, it can slow a guy down, if you know what I mean. Then things go awry and Christmas is ruined for everyone. Don’t be that person who leaves cookies. Leave antacids.

8. Use your GPS.

Your horse will thank you.

9. The Christmas Carol totally got it wrong.

In what is a contender for my favorite Robot Chicken sketch of all time Ebenezer Scrooge learns the true meaning of Christmas. Charles Dickens should have had the Robot Chicken team do a pass on his tale before he published it, is all I’m saying.

10. Santa Ruined World War I.

You know that heartwarming tale about the Christmas Eve WWI truce? The history books left out the part where Santa epically screwed that one up. Although, the real moral of that story is be careful what you put on your wish list, kids.

All kidding aside, the Adult Swim specials are short, rapid fire hits of humor (and there are puppets in Robot Chicken!) that will knock you right out of the holiday doldrums. The remind us that we have a lot to be thankful for…mainly that we don’t have to work for Santa. Remember NTSF:SD:SUV::‘s “Wreck the Malls” airs Friday, December 13th at 12:15 a.m. ET/PT on Adult Swim. Robot Chicken‘s “Born Again Virgin Christmas Special” makes its debut on Monday, December 16th at 12:00 a.m. ET/PT. Enjoy the merry mayhem!

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