CSI Season 14 Review “The Lost Reindeer”

On the latest episode of “CSI,” we got another fun one, just in time for the holidays, in “The Lost Reindeer.” I think David said it all, when he summed it up with the one-liner: “Grandma may have gotten run over by a reindeer, but Santa got sleighed.” Cue wah-wah horn.

Yep, poor Santa ended up on the slab, and the worst thing was, he wasn’t even the intended target. No, it wasn’t the real Santa- that would be ho-ho-horrible. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Instead, it was the manager of a Christmas party supplier, who dressed as Santa, and provided live reindeer and snow, which I imagine isn’t easy to come by in the warmer climes of Vegas, so ice was used.

Unfortunately for the original Santa, that ice contained an altogether different sort of snow, which isn’t used for Christmas cheer, but was used for, as Brass drolly put it: “The other kind of cheer with the other kind of snow.” Yep, good old Santa was shipping in nose candy cane inside fish inside ice, which was then used to simulate the “real” snow. Merry Christmas, indeed!

Anyway, the guy and his brother were involved in getting a guy’s wife killed as collateral damage for another guy discovering that the brothers were laundering money at his bank, which said wife worked at. The problem was, Santa’s brother was working at the house of the wife’s husband, and the guy found out about it and tried to kill him, as revenge, only Santa switched clothes with someone else when the brother had to leave, and the guy killed the wrong Santa! Don’t you hate when that happens?

So, it seems that the brother in question was about to give his other brother, who was in jail and was the one who actually did the killing, his kidney. So the husband of the dead wife intended to kill him, thus killing two birds with one stone, as the other brother would die without said kidney transplant. That didn’t happen, and instead the poor guy got kidnapped and nearly shoved into an ice-chipper, which made me think of “Fargo,” ya?

That also didn’t happen as he was saved by a Mexican stand-off with the cops, before the brother gave up and was promptly arrested, along with the husband. Got all that? Yeah, it was all a bit convoluted, admittedly, but in a good way, I thought.

As they say, the devil’s in the details, and there were some great details, including a neo-furry stripper dressed as a reindeer (insert obvious ho-ho-ho joke here), sleigh marks on the vic (!), Hodges playing nice with a tow-headed kid, much to his consternation (“Aren’t vaguely Dickens-ian kids Russell’s department?”), the Secret Santa gifts (especially the Vegas snow globe) and the aforementioned coked-out fish (now that would be one hell of a meal on Christmas!).

There was also some great writing happening here, if a bit on the silly side. But that’s fine, as this time around, they left the unfortunately serious material fall by the wayside (i.e. the rapist subplot on the recent, otherwise amusing “Bubble Boy” episode) and concentrated on the funnier aspects of the case. I mean, don’t get me wrong, one guy’s wife died on Christmas Eve and the same guy’s kid ended up in jail, so that wasn’t exactly good times, but for the most part, it was good holiday-centric fun, especially the dialogue.

My other favorites not already mentioned were as follows:

Hodges, after identifying an odd marking as being made by a reindeer hoof on a costume: “If the reindeer hoof fits, you need not acquit.”

Brass, talking to a stripper about the dead Santa: “You’re both professional pole dancers. You work the stripper pole, he works the North Pole.” LOL.

Good stuff and a fun, solid episode. This season is getting better all the time, and none too soon. Looking forward to the back half of the season, for the first time in a long time with one of these shows, which is a nice Christmas present in and of itself.

Did you enjoy the Christmas-themed episode of “CSI”? Did you feel for poor Santa? Were you aware of the fact that there are strippers out there running around dressed as reindeer? Do you want one under your Xmas tree? Don’t worry, I won’t tell, but remember, Santa’s watching, so you better be good! Have a great holiday, “CSI” fans and see you next year!