Covert Affairs Season Four: Where Is My Mind?

Covert Affairs Season 4 Episode 7 Crackity Jones (1)

(Huh, this song title schtick is actually quite fun. I’m still not sold on ‘Crackity Jones’, though.)

Okay, I’m going to throw this out there from the start: I think Calder Michaels and Annie had a chat on that rooftop and he’s in on her faked death. This not only gives Annie someone else on her side — a male who doesn’t have a huge crush on her, to boot — but potentially gives Auggie and Joan a bit of CIA backup, too.

With that out of the way, let’s get back to more important matters such as what the heck is actually going on? First Henry is trying to screw Arthur over via Teo because of Jai’s death, then we learn Henry’s actually been aiding terrorists for nigh on thirty years. Why? Because apparently causing terrorist attacks means he can then track down the terrorists, or something. I’m assuming the gist was that Henry wanted to catch the bad guys and get the glory, but by that point I couldn’t give a rat’s ass why he does anything he does. It’s all getting far too complicated.

Besides, if Henry wanted to hurt Arthur by killing Teo, job done. Just as Teo was becoming the most interesting character in season four, he accepted his father and then bled to death. I’d quite like to know why they didn’t at least have a doctor from the military base drive out to meet Annie and Teo halfway. Sure, Annie’s explanation that she doesn’t know who she can trust makes sense, but it was worth the risk, right? Now Teo’s dead, Arthur has suffered as Henry suffered, and we still have six episodes left of the season. Let’s assume that Henry won’t be satisfied and turn over a new leaf just yet.

That’s okay though because Annie Walker’s on the case! My frustration with this character continues unabated. Her ingenuity in episode 4.10 was truly startling when first she walked into a beauty salon and didn’t do a thing to her distinctive locks, and then changed her white shirt/dark jacket combo to the completely dissimilar pale grey shirt/dark jacket combo. She is truly a master of disguise.

Her ingenuity was further shown when she faked her death, had Eyal (a foreign spy!) drive off with her, and then got up and walked away that same night. What’s going to happen when they find your body gone, Annie? Or if you flag up on some system akin to Project Hummingbird? This is not a foolproof plan. Also, since we’ve learned that Eyal is still in Mossad, you’ve just involved another country in your plans, while you’re considered an enemy of your own country. This doesn’t seem like a good idea.

Let’s be honest, if all it takes to bring down a villain’s 30 year plan is Annie Walker, the CIA must be doing a piss-poor job overall. I’m hoping Annie gets back into the CIA’s good books in the final six episodes of the season and everyone pulls together to bring Henry down, if only to give the agency some credibility again.

Finally, just to shake things up a bit in time for the big midseason finale, Joan faints and is diagnosed as suffering with pre-eclampsia. Why? Because clearly more drama is needed right now. Teo’s dead, Annie’s ‘dead’, Joan’s lost her job, Henry is buddying up to the CIA again, Auggie’s facing possible jail time, Arthur’s facing jail time– Why not give Joan’s pregnancy a complication too, lest we dare to think that one of our characters may actually come out of all of this relatively alright (if alright means a jobless, probably guilt-ridden, unexpectedly single mother)?

I’m not saying Covert Affairs isn’t a decent way to spend a spare hour, dear reader, it’s just that the show used to be fun and the characters somewhat relatable. I almost miss the days when Danielle was pulling her annoying big sister act all the damn time and we didn’t have to wonder how Annie gained a James Bondian ability to carry on out in the field despite everyone and their grandmother knowing her identity.

I’ll still be watching through to the end of the season, though, possibly because I want plot clarification, possibly because I’m hoping for more gratuitous shirtless Auggie scenes. Who knows? How about you, dear reader? What are your gripes with season four so far? Is there anything you particularly like? Are you also futilely holding out hope that Teo’s death was faked too and that he’ll suddenly reappear, kill Henry and somehow become a permanent fixture in a fifth season? No? That may just be me then…