Storage Wars Season 4 Review “Storage for Dummies” & “Breathalyze This”

Storage Wars continued its fourth season tonight with “Storage for Dummies”, as our buyers (Plus Nabila and Mark Bilelo) make their way to Stanton, California! I was pretty sure that the last episode we saw Mark in would be the last one ever, as he took his own life not long after filming these, but it appears that he still had a couple more episodes in the can before his suicide. My guess is that there will be at least one or two more episodes featuring him, since you would think the producers would include some sort of “In Memoriam” message at the end of one of these episodes to let us know that it’s his last episode.

Anyway, let’s get to the lockers! Darrell wins the first locker for $1,800, as he continues to brag about his “million dollar unit” from last season. The fact that the value of this locker has ballooned up by over 300% since it was originally appraised really throws into question the appraisal methods that they use on Storage Wars. I’ve been saying it for years now, but I really want to see an update episode where we see how much all of these expensive units actually sold for. Dave Hester was famous for assigning ridiculously large values to things that really didn’t seem very valuable, so I would love to hear how much Darrell actually ends up selling all of that art for. Anyway, he ends up finding some jewelry and a nice handwoven rug to keep his hot streak alive.

Mark wins the next few lockers of the day, but nothing particularly interesting came from any of them. It was pretty sad to hear him say in the final scene that he’ll be hearing about Darrell’s score for the next 20 years. Yeah…not so much, Mark.

Nabila wins the next unit for $675 and finds a ventriloquist dummy, which she wryly teases that she’s going to bring to her “friend” for the appraisal. As soon as she said this I assumed that it would be Jeff Dunham, because really – How many ventriloquists do you know? I was definitely not a big fan of Dunham’s before tonight, but I do have to respect the guy for really knowing the history behind ventriloquist dummies. Although I would have been more impressed if he knew a more specific date of this doll other than “between 1925 and 1945”.

Barry wins the last locker for $1,700, and he ends up being the surprise winner of the episode by making $8,300! It’s rare that Barry makes profits that big on his lockers, but you have to wonder if his buddy Yoshi was ripping him off. Those engines could have been worth three times that much, but Barry would have obviously jumped at the opportunity of taking ten thousand bucks!

Our second episode of tonight’s double-header was “Breathalyze This”, as our buyers made their way to Huntington Beach. This was a surprisingly no-frills episode of Storage Wars, as there was no extra buyers beside our main cast and one of Barry’s friends.

Barry won the first and second locker of the episode for $425 and $800 respectively. I was surprised when he mentioned bringing an appraiser to one of the auctions, as it seems like such a no-brainer. Why not bring an expert with you instead of over-spending and bringing it to somebody to tell you that it’s worthless? Well his buddy helped him find an old school 3D photo viewer from the 1840s, and he made a small profit on it!

Brandon was flying solo tonight, and got a fully stocked unit for $1,600. It was a pretty terrible unit up until he found a breathalyzer test, which put him over the top by a couple hundred bucks. The scene at the Glendora Police Department was funny, and it was fun to meet a new staff member from the Schultzes thrift store: Bozak!

Tonight’s episodes were both pretty fun, if not a little formulaic. I’ll be interested to see how they handle Mark Bilelo’s suicide in a few weeks, and I hope the producers are able to find some more fun buyers to bring in on a regular basis.

Random Thoughts:

– I’m happy to see that Darrell found a mate that’s just an inarticulate and bad with words as he is.

– It makes me angry that Jeff Dunham is so successful that he has a giant mansion. At least the A&E editors put a funny sound effect on his lame joke to put him back in his place.

– How could that Bozak guy really have a BAC of .05? .08 is where you’re so drunk that it’s illegal to drive, so he had to be drinking on the way to the police station or something.