90210 Season 5 Review “Dude, Where’s My Husband?” – The Poor Man’s Hangover

After a night of drunken debauchery, Naomi woke up married and spent the rest of the appropriately, if not entirely creatively, titled “Dude, Where’s My Husband?” looking for her unknown spouse in this week’s 90210. I’ll spare you the non-existent tension (and the potential ick factor) and say that it was not her brother as the previews implied, but herself. She married herself. Gay men and women in love can’t get married, but drunk divorcees can marry themselves. Oh, America. You so crazy.

Most of the episode was spent on the girls trying to figure out what they did the night before, although only Adrianna and Naomi really forgot. Annie spent the night locked in her bathroom thanks to a faulty doorknob she wouldn’t let her male roommates fix, while Silver was sober enough to remember that she broke her pact with Adrianna and hooked up with Mark. She was also naive enough to tell Adrianna about it the next day. Maybe it was all the hair dye she subjected herself to by getting streaks and then getting rid of those streaks, but although she pretended to be cool with Silver’s “betrayal,” the disclosure of the hook-up activated some sort of inner psycho switch in Adrianna’s head. She went all the way to “bitch bent on revenge” about two seconds after Silver walked away. I hope Silver locks up her bi-polar meds now, although it’s more likely that Adrianna will do something to her baby mama.

Speaking of, not even a raging case of morning sickness could keep Silver’s surrogate from going after yet another of Silver’s friends, as she and Dixon formed a bond outside of the studio. I get that pregnancy produces hormones, but the girl is hot-to-trot and might want to consider that while her womb is occupied, maybe she should try to limit the number of strangers who visit it.

On the other side of town, Liam found himself torn between trying to help Navid and trying not to expose his illicit affair. Because Navid is a naive idiot who really thought he could just tell the truth and be okay, Kronos seems to be willing in the plot to frame him for the cheating ring. Liam is his only hope for a future, but evil Kronos guy is almost too smart for his boy-band hair-cut, and the quest to secure one of the dummy cell phones that would prove he’s at the center of the scandal is going to be harder than just having Liam pretend to join the brotherhood. C’mon…did we really expect Liam to be able to act his way out of this?

Only five episodes left. Can they wrap up all these riveting plots with any sense of resolution for the handful of fans still hanging on? I’m not holding my breath.

What did you think about the episode? Let me know below. And remember you can always follow me on Twitter @krieli1 so you never miss a review.