Lost Girl Season 3 Review “Confaegion”

Kenzi and Dyson - Lost Girl

Boy oh boy, it was a “Lost Girl” for the ages on this week’s episode “Confaegion.” After a bang-up premiere followed by a vaguely disappointing sophomore effort, the gang was back in fine form for what may well be my favorite episode to date. As good as one of the best humor-focused episodes of “Buffy” ever was, with equally eminently-quotable dialogue (and I say that as a die-hard fan of the “B,” mind you); on this episode, we got to see Bo, Dyson, and newbie Tamsin behave like a bunch of horn dog teenagers, Kenzi open up a can of whoop-ass on a bunch of pig-men, and easily the most priceless Lauren moments ever. It was in a word: crazy-awesome.

We started with Kenzi and Bo taking care of business- or at least Bo was, with Kenzi sliding in for a ball-punching base steal on the assist tip. (“Remind me to book you on “Dancing with the Fae,” Bo enthused- “Is that a thing?” queried Kenzi.) As the two commiserated on the uptake of crazy “faebags” lately, with one looking like a “2-Headed Regis,” courtesy of the disgruntled Morrigan, they also squabbled over Kenzi’s dubiousness of the oft-dour Doc Lauren.

Bo: “She thinks you’re immature, clingy, and irresponsible.”
Kenzi: “She does?”
Bo: “Oh, you said those things about yourself.”
Kenzi: “Yeah, but when I say it, it is adorable.” (She ain’t never lied.)

Meanwhile, Vex is having troubles of a different sort, namely in the lower abdominal area, if you know what I mean and I think that you do. Having reached the end of his rope, he seeks out assistance from the Morrigan, allowing her an “in” with Bo & Co to hopefully eliminate the competition. If Vex can take out the gang, especially Bo, then she’ll award Vex accordingly. It was probably only a matter of time before Vex went rogue, given his dubious shenanigans with Bo in the past, but I must admit the little bugger had grown on me a bit over the last few weeks. (I think it was Dominatrix Cop that did it, honestly.) Speaking of adorable, how cute was it when he and Kenzi were trading mascara tips?

Dr. Lauren, feeling a bit put out after being taunted by Vex- “It can’t be easy keeping up with the Energizer Succubunny”- determines she is going to step things up a notch in the lady love department, which I have little problem with. “I am going for the gold in Succugames,” says she. Ooh-la-la!

Alas, before you can say “heart-shaped box critters,” Bo is acting like a looney tune- or at least an insane teenager. “Wow. You’re really hot,” she says to Lauren, completely straight-faced. “Have you ever kissed a girl?” Oh, but the best was yet to come. Recognizing something was awry, Lauren went immediately into doctor panic mode, setting off Bo’s fun police meter. “Hi, I’m Dr. Lauren. I don’t like to have any fun. Take two Frownie Brownies and call me in the morning.” Big LOL.

Pollyanna on mushrooms” was just getting warmed up. Dismissing Tansin with a wave: “She’s so mean girl. I mean, buy an actual personality,” Bo took it upon herself to do a little table dancing to the Pussycat Dolls (I’m sure she meant it ironically) before Lauren party-pooped on her parade. “Hey! Let me finish! Don’t Kanye me!” protested Bo.

Back at the Casa de Kenzi, the Pigman attacketh, and she and Lauren do their best to fight him off. Grabbing whatever they can to fend off the vile beast, Kenzi makes the (completely awesome) mistake of picking up a magical staff of Righteousness. (That’s what she said.) On the plus side, it helps her to kick Pigman’s booty- “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”– on the other, she literally can’t put it down.

Lauren: “The wood is melded to your flesh!”
Kenzi: “Worst hand-job ever.”

Vex reports back to the Morrigan, who isn’t thrilled with the news.

Vex: “Well, luckily Kenzi pounded little Piggly Wiggly into fae bacon with her magic shillelagh.”
Morrigan: “And the Succubitch?”
Vex: “Still alive and singing with the other Twi-hards.”

He wasn’t kidding. With Bo, Dyson, and Tansin all infected now, the wackiness is in full swing, starting with Dyson singing and howling as he does a strip tease to…wait for it…Duran Duran’s “Hungry like the Wolf,” which of course Vex recognizes right away. Kenzi and Tansin bond- “You’re really awesome.”/”No, you’re really awesome.”- and trade secrets in poetry form (!), which we sadly don’t hear, but we do get the revelation that “Tammy” is a “Valkyrie,” whatever that means. Isn’t it a movie about Nazis with Tom Cruise in an eye-patch or something?

On a brief side note, Tansin really grew on me this week. She’s been sort of grim and grumpy thus far, and I wasn’t really a fan, but I looked into her background and realized I knew actress Rachel Skarsten from a previous geek-friendly project, “Birds of Prey,” where she played Diana Lance, aka the “Black Canary.” She was a teen then herself, but man, did she grow up right. She definitely channeled some of that quirky-cute-sexy vibe I remembered her bringing to the party on “Birds” on this episode of “Lost Girl.” Though it would seem she’s back to “normal” at the end of the show, I’m hoping the character lightens up a bit in weeks to come. We’ve already got one Dr. Giggle-less on the show, we don’t need another.

Vex returns, this time armed with a host of pig people, and the battle resumes in earnest, with Kenzi mopping the floor with pork chops of her magic stick. Then, in the moment of truth, Vex, visions of crazy-Kenzi-bond-time dancing in his head (K: “And to think, I shared my limited edition purple pixie glitter with you!”), just can’t bring himself to do it. And who could blame him? To quote Kenzi herself, “You know, I don’t think I’d mind getting my ass kicked by someone that hot.” Amen, sister.

Kenzi finally finds the cure for the stick affliction she’s somewhat suffering from, which requires her to turn down the semi-golden opportunity to be the “Ruler of the Forest Nymphs and Wood Sprites.” Okay, so it’s not much of a choice: just say no or carry around a big stick for the rest of her days, quite literally stuck to her hand, which is an awfully weird “curse” or whatever.

As much fun as it was seeing Kenzi go all Buffy on the Pigmen, googoogajoob, I imagine it would have gotten old seeing her constantly toting around a stick all the time. Or not, maybe. I mean, is there no compromise there? If so, why in the world did Hale/the Ash want the thing in the first place? Fortunately, she got a nice consolation from the apologetic Vex, who lent her his beloved “ebony-handled bison bristle blush brush” before leaving to find himself or something.

Speaking of Hale, what was that cryptic allusion to a “détente” getting derailed because of the Morrigan’s “petty feud” with Bo and Co? Between that and the magic stick, I’m not sure to think of the Jimmy Hale Mission this season. Hopefully, there’s a method to his madness, but his letting the Morrigan off the hook with little beyond a slap on the wrist was a bit dubious, IMHO.

So, what did you think of “Lost Girl” this week? Did Tasmin grow on you, too? How about Lauren? Did Kenzi kick butt or what? I thought it was easily one of the best episodes ever, by far, and that premiere was pretty hard to top, which just goes to show: the only thing that tops women in prison is Kenzi speaking Russian and kicking a little Mr. Gordo ass. Girls, you done your “Buffy” ancestors proud. Keep up the good work.

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