90210 Season 5 Review “Misery Loves Company” – New Year, Same Old Story

Welcome back to the zip code. It’s still Christmas in the world of 90210, as this week’s episode, “Misery Loves Company,” jumped in only hours after where we left off in 2012. But this is 2013, a new year, and the writers have a chance to wrap up old, tired storylines and give us something fresh and different and…

Sorry, I couldn’t finish typing that sentence. I just remembered what show I was watching.

If you can name a teen drama cliche, it was probably in this episode, but I think what bothered me the most is that there didn’t seem to be any coherency. One minute Naomi and Adrianna were skinny-dipping, the next they were line-dancing at a biker bar, and after the commercial break, Naomi was having a heart-to-heart with her mother. Um…okay.

Then, of course, there was the ubiquitous musical performance by the next MTV one-hit wonder, inter-spliced between scenes of Annie and Vanessa teaming up to save Liam from his stalker bodyguard. In all fairness, they did a pretty good job of fitting the massive pieces of the puzzle together, but the rescue attempt turned deadly because no one ever thinks to check the crazy stalker chick for hidden weapons, and Annie ended up getting shot. The camera pulled back on her bleeding in Liam’s arms.

I smell a reunion! It kind of smells like iron.

So, in other news, Adrianna is still hurt that Dixon isn’t being nice to her after he learned she was cheating on him while he was paralyzed. Naomi’s marriage is still hanging in the balance. And Silver might give birth in jail when it’s discovered that she forged Teddy’s name on the donor consent forms in order to get pregnant before Teddy’s terrible family got a court-order to stop the implantation on the grounds that they’re all massive Republican homophobes. Oh, and Teddy hates Silver for getting them involved at all.

I suppose arguments could be made supporting either Silver or Teddy, but legally, she really doesn’t have any ground to stand on. Morally, though, Teddy is being a douche.

What did you think about the episode? Let me know below! And remember you can always follow me on Twitter @krieli1 so you never miss a review.