The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Review “We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street” — In Which Everyone ‘Expresses’ Themselves

In this week’s The Vampire Diaries, ‘We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street’ saw the Salvatores visit New Orleans to find a way to dissolve the sire bond between Elena and Damon. Back in Mystic Falls, the hybrids rebel against Tyler and Hayley’s attempts to un-sire them from Klaus, forcing Tyler to step up and take control as the alpha male of his very own pack.

Last week saw the sire bond between Elena and Damon revealed. This week, Stefan told Damon about said sire bond. What followed was a fairly uneventful trip to New Orleans to search for a witch who supposedly tried to help Damon with this very problem seventy years ago. That’s right, dear reader, Damon has sired someone before. Apparently TVD didn’t get the memo about retconning and how it should be done. The show has spent two seasons talking about sire bonds and it’s only now that Damon lets slip that he had a sire bond once. Righty-o.

This lead to two the boys meeting two people: Nandi, whose grandmother only helped Damon with his previous problem because she wanted him to kill people for her Expression magic spell, not his un-siring spell. He didn’t know this, of course, and so thought the spell just hadn’t worked. (Sidenote: Shane is getting Bonnie into Expression magic. So far it’s a lot of flickering lights.) Cue Stefan being justifiably annoyed that Damon would kill innocents to try and break off a sire bond. The vampire who had been bonded to Damon was Charlotte, an annoying 2D character who we will hopefully never see again.

It all culminates in Damon learning that the only way to break a sire bond is to, well, break up. He tells Charlotte to move on and forget about him and then leaves town, hopeful that she’ll do just that and not spend the next seventy years counting bricks in New Orleans. Let’s hope that un-sired Charlotte isn’t a crazy mass murderer or anything, eh? Then it’s time to go and break up with Elena, which would have gone better if she hadn’t been told about the sire bond and how her love for Damon isn’t actually part of the bond. She wants him, he doesn’t want to lose her — will they break up? God, I hope so, if only to avoid more bitchy Stefan.

And really, how bitchy was Stefan this week? Aside from murdering a dozen innocents seventy years ago, Damon didn’t actually do anything wrong in this episode. I know I irrationally like Damon no matter what he does, but I’m okay with Stefan pointing out when his brother’s being an ass. This week, though, he was just snide and mean to Damon, especially if we consider how much Damon cared about Stefan in this episode.

Even Lexi — it was so good to see Lexi back — was awful to Damon seventy years ago, but given that he was clearly still a bit of an idiot back then (again, human sacrifices), I’ll let it slide.

The less said about Elena, Caroline and Bonnie’s girls’ night in, the better. They danced around, drank a lot, and got mean. Throw in Hayley and it could so easily have been a scene out of The Secret Circle, man. Deja vu. Anyway, Caroline felt the need to tell Elena how much she dislikes Damon. Which is a bit pot and kettle really, isn’t it? She was making eyes with Klaus last week. On a scale of evil Damon is a perhaps a four while Klaus is around a there-is-no-scale-for-this. Just sayin’. I won’t even throw Stefan into the mix because that so-called perfect guy for Elena used to be the ripper.

Moral of the tale: Don’t date vampires.

Also, if you’re a vampire, don’t go to school. Just…what is the point? Can someone explain to me what the point of this is? Just stop going, guys. Who cares if the good folks of Mystic Falls think you’re high school dropouts? You’re vampires.

My favourite part of this episode was Tyler asserting himself as the alpha male of his very own pack. He’s a nice guy and he’s sensible, he’ll be a great leader for them. I mean, aside from his new bestie secretly being a bad guy and using Tyler as a way to get to the hybrids. Hopefully he’ll figure that situation out before it’s too late.

But what will ‘too late’ actually mean for the hybrids? The witch Damon went looking for once had him kill a dozen humans in order to access ‘Expression’ magic. Presumably Shane is trying to access this same magic through Bonnie for nefarious purposes, but why does he want a dozen hybrids? Will killing hybrids make the magic stronger? (By stronger I mean more than flicking lights.)

Overall, not a bad episode. It had some interesting moments and pushed plots forward (despite Jeremy and Matt being absent). It would have been nice if the retconning wasn’t so obvious and some of the characters weren’t so bitchy, but I suppose we can write that off as everyone being emotional. Here’s hoping everyone is a little calmer for Christmas in Mystic Falls next week.

What did you think of ‘We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street’, dear reader? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!