90210 Season 5 Review “902-100” – High School Never Ends, But College Never Started

Be honest. Did you really think that 90210 was going to make it to 100 episodes? Well, with this week’s ep, “902-100,” they’re not at all ashamed to shove their five years in the faces of all the nay-sayers by giving us an episode that not only took us back to high school, but took us all the way to the Playboy mansion. Oh and Denise Richards was there. For some reason.

I always find it funny how TV characters who literally graduated two years earlier like to wax sentimental about high school as if they were at their twenty year reunion. For Naomi, high school never really ended, so of course she wanted to use homecoming as a chance to worm her way into an exclusive sorority of rich, married alumni headed by Denise Richards. Unfortunately, she found herself with some competition, forcing her to play dirty. Oh, let’s be honest. No one forces Naomi to play dirty; she enjoys the hell out of it.

But maybe her two years away from West Beverly have given her some perspective. When faced by a righteously angry former classmate who lost weight and wanted to be acknowledged, Naomi made a very public, very naked plea for forgiveness for all the wicked things she did in high school. Still, the thing about karma is that it can’t just be resolved by an “I’m sorry.” That pretty CEO Naomi hired for Max? She totally stole his company out from underneath him. No word on if she was working for Alex yet, but I remain convinced until it’s proven otherwise.

Old faces came back for the homecoming alumni celebration in frightening flashbacks. Annie, in particular, got bombarded by the past, first when the perky cousin who tried to Single White Female her showed up to make her feel bad about how she’s done nothing with her life since graduation except sell her body, and then by the reappearance of Jasper, the worst mistake she ever made.

Although it seemed for a hot minute like he might be the one who’s been stalking Liam and sending him notes about Vanessa, he really just wanted Liam to read his script. Liam was so relieved that he totally forgot about Jasper setting fire to his boat and agreed to do it. Too bad for him that in a twist which shouldn’t have surprised ANYONE, Vanessa is alive and well.

After putting Teddy back together with his boyfriend and putting on a strip-tease for the West Bev alums, Silver decided she was (finally) ready to get pregnant. Will Teddy’s boyfriend’s obvious objection prove to be an obstacle? Please let’s not have this descend into a custody battle.

Dixon started his record label and signed Adrianna only to stumble across video of her kissing the club promoter. She accidentally confessed to doing a lot more than kissing, so she and Dixon are over romantically. He still has her tied down professionally though. Awkward-pants.

I don’t know. For the 100th episode of the show, which seemed like an impossibility five years ago, I feel like the writers could have tried a little harder. Try bringing back some faces we actually wanted to see. Maybe Ethan, the boy who disappeared, or some of the original show’s cast. Jennie or Tori or Shannen. That would have made the landmark episode a little more memorable. As it was, it just felt like another week in the zip code.

I did get one chuckle out of the ep, when Liam was telling Annie about what happened to Vanessa and he said it happened the night of Naomi’s party. Um…you gotta narrow that down a little more, darlin’.

What did you think of the episode? Let me know below! And remember you can always follow me on Twitter @krieli1 so you never miss a review.