The Mob Doctor Season 1 Review “Fluid Dynamics”: The Countdown To The End Begins

The Mob Doctor Episode 9 Fluid Dynamics

“%$#@@!^&” (insert the curse word of your choice). That’s what I feel like saying after watching this episode of the now-cancelled The Mob Doctor, “Fluid Dynamics.” This was the worst episode out of all of the episodes so far. I don’t really know how to recap this episode because 1) none of it made any sense and 2) none of it flowed together. It was all a mish-mash of clichés and elongated scenes filled with “character moments” that we were supposed to care about. So, I’m just going to talk about the A,B,C and D plots as simply as I can. That’s all this episode really warrants. If I have any notes, I’ll write them, but I’m just angry with this episode, so angry I can’t even type everything I really want to say–as the “young people” say, I could seriously go in on this episode.

A Plot–Grace helps an enemy mobster: Russell King (Michael Madsen) is got word from a certain source that he would be able to get “off the grid” hospital care from Grace. When she tries to act like she’s on the up-and-up, he passes out. We find out he’s got an abdominal aortic aneurysm (I believe that’s what Grace said) and that he’s a ticking time bomb–the blood from his heart is leaking out into is abdomen. Grace has to save him! The catch is that he’s up and gone (leaving a tip). He and his adult daughter (who was completely obvious during the episode’s opening heist prep scene) are getting ready to pull The Big Heist and he’s got to be there in case his daughter needs help.

So, Grace runs down to where the heist is taking place (in her huge obvious SUV), almost neglects to scuttle past so people don’t see her, and gets Franco to bring Russell back. By this time, Russell is nearly dead and Grace decides to do the unthinkable–crack open his ribs. Sure he’s passed out, but he’s not actually under any medication! Surely, he’d wake up from that kind of strain! Anyway, they get him to the hospital and save him, and Dr. Flanigan (or the man who could be the American brother to Anderson from Sherlock) starts questioning Grace about just how she managed to be in the right place at the right time. Ugh.

B Plot–Dr. White’s blast from the past: Dr. White meets his long-lost stepson(?)/son figure Kyle Bennett when he comes in with a huge head injury–a metal reindeer antler fell on his head, puncturing his skull. There’s a terrible “character moment” scene during the brain surgery; Kyle is awake during it in order to help the surgeons know which areas of the brain might be affected. When we get to what I assume is the memory part of his brain, Kyle goes off on a tangent about baseball and Wrigley Field, making Dr. White misty eyed. There’s no time for that during surgery!

Anyway, Dr. White reveals to Grace his relationship to Kyle. As to why Kyle doesn’t remember Dr. White–especially if he spent as much time with Dr. White as obviously did back in the day–is beyond me. As to how Dr. White doesn’t know Kyle’s mom died is also beyond me. If this kid held such a huge place in Dr. White’s heart, why didn’t he stay in touch with him and his mother? It’s things like this that makes me angry with the show’s writing. Small things like this should be taken care of. Like, I know it’s hard to run a show. I mean, I’ve never done it before. But I do know what I expect out of a show that got picked up by a major network. I expect to not have to yell at my television because I see huge plotholes.

C Plot–Franco and Grace: Just to be clear, it was Franco who sent Russell to Grace, not Constantine (like Grace–and the audience–immediately assumed). Why did Franco send a mobster to Grace, a person he’s trying to protect from the mob? Because he’s now working for Russell! How exactly is he working for Russell? Because he’s an undercover cop, of course! Seriously, though, that kind of catch-all excuse can’t work. Neither can it work for Grace to just say she’s “covering for Brooks” when she has to rush Russell into trauma surgery the first time he passes out. Who the freak is Brooks, anyway?

Anyways, Franco says that now that Constantine knows Russell’s back in town (and will be able to find out Franco’s with Russell), Franco’s days could be numbered. How, exactly? No one knows. Anyway, Franco lets Grace know she can come to his undisclosed apartment, and all of the shenanigans of this episode lead Grace to going to the apartment where the most uncomfortable slow-motion sex scene since the Nite Owl II/Silk Spectre II sex scene from Watchmen takes place. I know the show’s on what is the American equivalent to the British watershed hour, but seriously! We knew just by seeing her at the man’s door what was going to take place! We didn’t need it spelled out for us!

D Plot–Whatever’s going on with Constantine: I really couldn’t tell you what’s going on with the mob subplot. All I gathered was a nightclub (because, of course, all mobsters frequent nightclubs) and a lounge singer doing a sultry version of “Little Drummer Boy” (because it’s Christmastime and we all need a sultry version of such a pure song!), girls in glittery, short dresses and some murky Chicagoan/Bronx accents being thrown around by Constantine and the mobsters. And, of course, the word “whacked,” because all mobsters say “whacked,” right? Just clichés galore. We do find out that Grace has been caught on cameraphone helping Russell. Constantine–who just got out of Mass–says he’ll deal with Grace later because Christmas is a time for peace. But just wait until after the holidays are over! I can’t wait to see what Constantine is like when he’s really angry! Maybe it’ll spice things up a bit. It’s the very least I could ask for at this point.

There’s a lot more stuff I could write about, like the Christmas staff party we barely get to see, how Grace is so big in her britches that she thinks she can order mobsters around, how she’s all of a sudden surprised to see her mother waltzing into the ICU (as if that hasn’t happened before) and how SHE’S GOT FRANCO AND CONSTANTINE’S NAMES IN HER PHONE! I’m no mobster, but even I would be better at crime than Grace because the least you could do is code their names!

This episode cements why The Mob Doctor has gotten cancelled. All of the show’s flaws were heightened in this episode. If there was actually central tone instead of about five different ones and the characterizations were actually cemented and the plot had been mapped out within an inch of it’s life and tweaked until it ran like a well-oiled machine (or at least like a television version of The Godfather with doctors), this show might have actually had a chance to come back for the winter-spring 2013 television season.