90210 Season 5 Review “99 Problems” – Oh, Liam. You’re So Pretty…

I’m starting to think that Liam exists in a bubble of his own hotness. How can someone live in America in 2012 and not be aware that a celebrity shouldn’t punch a paparazzi? Sorry, had to get that off my chest. This week’s episode of 90210, “99 Problems,” had a lot of flaws, but this was perhaps the biggest one. It is a good thing that Liam is so pretty because he can sometimes be too dumb to live.

Of course the paparazzi are after him in the wake of his sex tape, but Liam acted like he was absolutely shocked that they would be interested in the fact that, two days later, he was escorting a different girl (Silver) into a fertility clinic. Hello? A photographer could put his kids through college on what he’d make from those pictures!

It didn’t help that Liam was already on edge. Someone knows what he sort-of did to Vanessa (um…wild guess, but could it be Vanessa?) and has started sending him threatening notes. All of this attention earned him a supposedly studio-sponsored bodyguard, a pretty girl with big teeth and an even bigger obsession on her movie star charge. Oh, that’s going to be fun.

Meanwhile, Silver was having trouble getting pregnant, but instead of trying the old-fashioned way, she decided to give IVF a whirl, and nearly wound up dead thanks to a nasty side effect. Now she’s gotta harvest some of her eggs and hope there’s enough of Teddy’s swimmers left on ice to get the job done.

Annie gave a relationship with Roller Boy a chance, but went a little crazy with the PC-ness and nearly lost him. Actually, I’m pretty sure he was just being a jerk and Annie was simply trying to be considerate, but whatever. Annie’s efforts at niceness have never paid off, but instead of standing up for herself, she just folds and acts like good manners are something shameful.

On the other end of the relationship spectrum, Adrianna agonized over whether to tell Dixon about her affair, while Dixon tried to decide whether to propose to her after finding out that a complication might have permanently paralyzed him. Because the writers just can’t commit to handicapping a major character who couldn’t be easily written out of the story when they’re bored with wheelchairs, Dixon is going to be just fine. He recommitted himself to Adrianna, but she kept her nasty little secret.

And then there’s Naomi. With Alex gone, Max needed a new business partner. Naomi was fine with that until the best candidate turned out to be a hot girl geek who instantly clicked with Max. Even after all her protesting about wanting Max to trust her, she couldn’t trust him and nearly drove the girl away. Eventually, she realized what a hypocrite she was being and boldly (as only Naomi can) gave the girl the job.

How many people really thought the episode would end with the girl (Bryce) making a shadowy phone call to Alex telling him that she got in? I still kind of think that’s where this is going. She did know the answer to the riddle that only Alex had answered correctly. And I don’t believe Alex would just give up and disappear. He’s a schemer like Naomi; they actually would have made a good couple.

What did you think about the episode? Let me know below! And remember you can always follow me on Twitter @krieli1 so you never miss a review!