The League Season 4 Review “The Breastalyzer”

This week’s “The League,” amusingly entitled “The Breastalyzer,” benefitted enormously from a tighter focus on the main plot, which mostly centered on Kevin and Jenny’s newfound roles as parents, and the trials and tribulations that come with it. Well, that, and having crazy relatives.

In this case, the two main aforementioned crazy relatives were Kevin’s mother (Julia Duffy, sheer passive/aggressive perfection) and the always-welcome Raffi (Jason Mantzoukas), aka Ruxin’s brother-in-law. With Kevin’s mother keeping a close watch on Jenny, who’s now free to party with the boys again, she found herself stifled once again when mom insists on her staying sober for the sake of the baby, specifically in terms of her breast milk, which led mom to test Jenny with the titular- pun definitely intended- item. Or as Andre put it: “You’re getting a BUI!”

Mom also enrolled Jenny in a “Mommy & Me” class, which led to some amusing shenanigans involving former “Hills”-star Kristen Cavallari, who just happens to be married to a NFL player Jay Cutler, leading to the priceless moniker of his baby as the “Cutlet.” In no time, the two are scheming to steal her breast milk, in hopes of fueling their own baby with “super” baby milk or what have you! Funny stuff. I can’t say I watched “The Hills,” but if KC’s comedic acting skills here were any indication, she’s got a real future. The girl was quick, funny- and, oh yeah, pretty easy on the eyes, too.

I also loved the whole discussion of the “Mommy & Me” class. Pete: “What guy wants to go to a place full of boobs where there’s no chance for a sexual encounter?” Kevin: “The first time I ever went in there, it was like I was driving on the highway and there was an accident and a breast truck just flipped over and there were just titties scattered everywhere!” Pete, on breast-feeding: “Breasts are meant to be ogled and fondled, not tugged at like some raccoon pulling at a trash bag!”

Meanwhile, upon learning he’s expected to take his son to swimming practice on Sunday, the holiest of football days, Ruxin makes a deal with the devil, aka his brother-in-law Raffi, to pose as him and take the boy in his wake. While there, he wastes no time in hitting on the swimming instructor (an always-welcome and game Andrea Savage), who, astonishingly enough, responds in kind to his advances. I loved his opening banter: “How many [children] do you expect to survive?” (His questions to Ruxin were also priceless; when Ruxin forbade him to bring a weapon, pointing out that “it’s just a bunch of children and mothers at a pool,” Raffi deadpanned: “That’s exactly who I would attack.”)

Also amusing was the subplot about Taco entering unintentionally into a relationship with sexy George (Amanda Lund), his female equivalent, who was once arrested for public urination: “To my credit, I was, like, 85% sure I was in a Del Taco.” After his friends called him on the situation- “Have you lost your individual identity and compromised yourself as a man? Relationship.”- Taco decided to embrace it, studying his friends and family for pointers. His assessment of Kev & Jenny: “Notice how friendly they are with each other…but you can tell there’s a lot of disdain right there beneath the surface.”

Sadly, it was not to be for Taco & George who abruptly split at the episode’s end. Things did not end well for Raffi and Gail, the pool teacher, despite her also being a perfect match- a scary thought, if ever there was one- for him as well. Gail: “I would have let you put me in a cage!” Raffi: “I have a cage!” Gail: “Have fun in your cage alone!” LOL.

This one was bursting at the seams with great lines, so much so that there’s not room for them all. Here are some of my faves, though: When someone called Taco and Kevin’s mom anti-Semitic, he defended her with this bon mot: “She doesn’t like kites. She thinks they’re dangerous.”

Jenny, on her breast milk: “This is like liquid gold.” Kevin: “More like Goldschlager.”
And later on, “Easy “Live Strong”…you’re on probation.”

Raffi- hard to pick, but this comes to mind: “You thinking what I’m thinking? Jerk-off party?” or else, looking at the breast pump: “This is gonna get gross.” (It did.)

I also liked Pete’s statement that “I do not negotiate with nipples!” and Kevin’s faux-ignorant reference to Cutler as a “quarter-thrower.” Funny stuff all around and plenty more where that came from.

What did you think of “The Breastalyzer”? Does KC have a future in comedy? Will you miss George? Or Gail? Is Raffi a little too gross for his own good- that stuff with his sister was pushing it- or just gross enough? Was this the funniest “League” yet? Let me know in the comments section!