The Vampire Diaries Season 3 Review “The Rager” — In Which No Kittens Exploded, Thankfully

The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 3 The Rager

In ‘The Rager’, Connor attempts to enlist Jeremy as a vampire hunter, Original Becky tries to make friends by throwing a party, and Elena gets her bitch on by…uh, doing a handstand on a beer keg. Things get a bit darker when Elena finds herself infected with werewolf venom and Klaus realises Connor is ‘one of the five’.

Alright, hands up, who’s tired of Elena’s transition to full-vampire-badass already? I’ve never been a fan of Elena, but I think it might actually be possible that I dislike Vamplena even more. As Stefan so helpfully pointed out, becoming a vampire helped Caroline grow into herself. Well, see, it turns out fully grown Caroline is awesome. Fully grown Vamplena looks to be just as annoying as ever.

Of course, Stefan doesn’t quite see it this way. After giving Vamplena a good time (get your minds out of the gutter, dear reader!), he starts to emo about how he can’t have a good time with her because apparently riding motorbikes will turn him into Stefanus again. I don’t even know. At this point I just want him and her to ride off into the vampire sunset and stop hogging airtime.

Elsewhere, interesting things were afoot. Connor took his fight for the humans of Mystic Falls to the high school. There he told Jeremy that because he can see the mysterious tattoo, he might be a vampire hunter too. If only these hunters can see these mysterious tattoos, and Connor is a hunter, that implies that Connor knows he’s special, right? Remember that.

Later, after Connor convinces Matt to tell him who the vampire feeding from him is (and Matt tells him Rebekah’s name instead of Vamplena’s because our One True Human is a loyal little bloodbag), Connor infected the beer at Becky’s party with hybrid venom taken from Tywolf. This results in Becky (sigh, and Vamplena) suffering the effects of werewolf venom in their body. Vamplena gets fixed up by Klaus, but Becky has to suffer and wait it out.

This all raises a good question, though: If the werewolf part of the hybrid venom creates a werewolf reaction in vampires, shouldn’t the vampire part create a vampire reaction in humans? Presumably the venom is just for pain relief and quick healing, but some sort of reaction would have been fun. The party seemed quite dull otherwise. The usual Mystic Falls gatherings have at least one grisly death.

Meanwhile, Damon set out to catch Connor. This meant he almost got killed by a booby trap bomb, and had to call Dr Meredith to come and free him, which prompted this amazing exchange:

“Tell me that is not a bomb.”
“Okay. It’s a kitten. It’s an adorable, exploding kitten.”

Possibly my favourite line ever in this show.

I’m not entirely sure when Meredith became Damon’s very own shrink, but that happened twice this week. I found it quite obnoxious, to be honest. I’m guessing she’s a Delena shipper though, so yay?

Then Damon teamed up with Klaus*, had Jeremy lure Connor to the hospital, and blew him up. Or not. Klaus actually snuck him out of there because he’s ‘one of the five’. Do you have any idea what this is? Apparently neither does Connor, which is strange since we decided that he knows he’s special a few paragraphs back, didn’t we? Anyway, he’s ‘one of the five’, and this knowledge means Vamplena is now valuable to Klaus again. I’m confused, but I like it.

(*Damon was going to team up with Tywolf, but he was under house arrest by Klaus. Also, he was paid a visit by Faye from The Secret Circle Hayley, a werewolf who apparently coaxed him through his transition when he was AWOL that one time. And by ‘coaxed’ I mean they did the dirty.)

(I really hoped they hooked up as humans and not as werewolves. Eww.)

Alright, we need to cover a few things here, TVD:

1 – Did Stefan really mindwhammy someone into handing over his drink? I’m all for Damon wiping memories to save Vamplena’s whiny ass, but that was a Stefanus move, Stefan. Thin ice, baby, thin ice.
2 – No one noticed Rebekah stabbing Elena? No one? No one stopped Vamplena on her way to the bathroom to say ‘hey, why’s your sweater covered in blood?’ I know shit is crazy in Mystic Falls but come on!
3 – Everyone was talking out loud, in the open, about vampires and murders this week. I went to school, writers. The walls have ears. You’re telling me no unsuspecting, unknowledgable human ever overhears and thinks ‘Oh. My. God.’? Also: your friend being shot is a legit reason to not be at school. Just sayin’.
4 – That was the most inappropriate use of ‘Ho Hey’ ever. I now actively ship Tywolf/Hayley and it makes my Caroline/Tywolf shipper heart SAD.

This wasn’t a bad episode of TVD at all, but a lot of it felt tiresome. I really have had enough of Vamplena. Hopefully she’ll get better now that Damon’s offered to help her learn to be a vampire. His method (drink what you want, don’t go crazypants) seems a lot healthier than Stefan’s method (abstain, binge, go crazypants).

Also tiresome is the need to make a bigger Big Bad than Klaus. That was always going to be the problem with Klaus; while he was a fantastic bad guy, what could possibly be worse than him? I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Is it this mysterious ‘five’? Or is something else heading to Mystic Falls? Either way, it’s all looking a bit Buffy right now, with Jeremy a potential hunter, whatever that means. (Are they born? Chosen? Given mystic tattoos by the strange guy behind the bike shed with the homemade tattooing pen?)

Overall, a good episode. A new mystery is building, Damon is hilarious, and despite my dislike of Vamplena, things look set to improve for her next week. What could possibly go wrong…?

What did you think of ‘The Rager’, dear reader? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!