90210 Season 5 Review “Til Death Do Us Part”

Welcome back to the zip code, everyone. With a title like “Til Death Do Us Part,” I had serious hopes that someone would actually, you know, die, and not just get married. But 90210 has never shied away from the obvious, so Dixon lived while Naomi and Max tied the knot. Sigh.

It’s not that I have anything against Dixon. I just feel like he’s superfluous at this point. He hasn’t had a really good storyline in…well…I lost count of the seasons. And honestly, it’s not like sleeping with Adrianna is a plot line. Everyone’s been there and done that. Her latest mistake was jumping into bed with a club promoter to prove just how over Dixon she was. What happened in Vegas didn’t stay there, though, as the promoter followed her back to LA. I’m sure that finding out the girl he loves had an anonymous nooner with a stranger will totally help Dixon’s recovery. And is Adrianna’s career finally dead now that she blew yet another chance? Can we lay her almost-stardom to rest?

In baby news, after a lot of soul searching and an afternoon in the morgue, Teddy decided to suck it up and let Silver have some of his fabulous sperm. This decision didn’t make anyone but Silver happy, although Navid seemed to get over it quicker. Of course, Liam really is in love with Silver, and while he’s not ready to be a father at twenty, he doesn’t want his girlfriend carrying someone else’s kid, not to mention the fact that his psycho ex got him over a barrel about the sequel to his action movie. Needing money to buy her out of his contact, Liam just sort of let his bar burn down after an electrical accident. Let’s hope this minor case of arson will go over better than the one that happened last year.

So, after getting stranded in the desert and getting arrested for hitchhiking with a highway bandit, Naomi and Max got married in a quick civil ceremony that majorly pissed off Max’s BFF/business partner, who (rightfully) had some concerns about Max’s past with Naomi, but decided to be sneaky instead of straightforward. When his plan to stop the wedding by keeping Naomi in jail didn’t work, he made it clear to her that he was not on her side and he would end the marriage at all costs. Oh dear. Has Naomi finally met her match? Doubtful. My money is on her sleeping with him by the end of the season. Sorry, it’s nothing personal. Girl just has a bad track record.

And then there’s Annie. Still wallowing over losing her man of the cloth to a higher power than her vagina, she then had to go through the unnecessary trauma of searching for Dixon’s body in the morgue. Of course there was a fabricated mistake and Dixon was just in the hospital (in real life, she could have sued), but it didn’t help her state of mind. Fortunately, her mother appeared out of nowhere and decided to give a damn about her children again. Or at least one of them. She wasn’t there when Annie was hooking in order to pay for Dixon’s rehab, but at least she made the effort when her son nearly died and wound up most likely paralyzed until the writers need him to miraculously walk again.

All right. What did you think of the episode? I’m always interested to hear, so feel free to leave me a comment. You can also follow me on Twitter @krieli1, so you never miss a review. See you next week!