Gossip Girl Season 6 Review “Gone Maybe Gone” – Fans of Dan Need Not Apply

Welcome back, Gossipers. Did you have a nice summer? Have the Dan-lovers finished licking their wounds? You know it’ll never heal if you keep picking at it. See, last year I tried to play fair and only took sides because the story happened to only make sense for one side. But this season is the last…and all bets are off. Consider this fair warning. I can’t stand Dan Humphrey and the season premiere, “Gone Maybe Gone,” only served to cement my antipathy. Because really…is there anything left to love about Lonelyboy?

He spent the summer in Italy under the questionable tutelage of Georgina, writing a tell-all book on a typewriter as not to risk exposure via technology. Please. It wasn’t as if no one didn’t realize who his last book was about; not using clever nicknames like Sabrina for Serena isn’t going to make this one an instant bestseller. Dan is the absolute worst. He is the king of condescension and the emperor of self-righteousness. He stands in judgement of everyone in the world he never really had to be a part of, while he’s done nothing but try to gain acceptance and entrance into that world from day one. It’s like yelling at a bee for stinging you after you’ve stuck your hand in its nest to get honey. He has no one to blame but himself.

There are a lot of reasons why I’m glad Blair chose Chuck, not the least of which is the fact that they have more sexual chemistry when they’re standing three feet apart then she and Dan had while they were between the sheets, but because she deserves to be with someone who isn’t going to be constantly judging her the sin of being rich. Dan never gave Serena a break about the life she happened to be born into; he made her feel like her family’s wealth was something to be ashamed of, and he was already doing the same thing to Blair. Chuck, on the other hand…that’s so not an issue.

Still, I’m sad to report that Chuck and Blair are not officially together, but despite Dan’s best efforts to raise doubts in Blair’s mind (damn you, Humphrey!), the real reason is that Chuck has finally grown up and realized that how he treated Blair in the past isn’t acceptable behavior. He wants to love her like a man, not a boy. Until the day he takes back everything his dad ripped away from him, she can only wear his ring around her neck. Honestly, it’s enough for me. Last season there were a lot of words without any action. This year, I’d rather they not leap too quickly only to crash and burn. I just hope they have a few hot, clandestine encounters along the way, and that Blair doesn’t listen to a bitter word that comes out of Dan’s mouth.

It’s a good thing Blair has Chuck because she lost Serena. After dropping off the grid, Nate had to trade his info on Gossip Girl’s identity to find out where everyone’s favorite party girl spent the summer. Fortunately it wasn’t in a hospital or a psych ward (that would have made Georgina way too happy). Serena did what Dan should have done a long time ago. She got out. She found a way to make a fresh start with a man who (at least for now) is good and decent and understood why she didn’t tell him her real name. When she chose her new life over her tumultous relationship with her BFF, a very hurt Blair lashed back, as she always does.

In other random news, Ivy is working with Lola on some sort of plan that involves befriending and seducing Rufus. Can’t imagine what that is, although I assume it’s a means to punish Lily, which quite frankly I’m not all that opposed to these days, especially now that she’s renewed her vows with Bart Bass. And Nate is taking up with a fresh-faced reporter trying to do a story on him and the Spectator. Let’s hope that potential romance is more interesting than the fling he had with Lola. Is anyone mourning the death of that hook-up? I doubt it.

So, nine episodes left and a lot of stuff to wrap up. Is anyone taking bets, making predictions? I’d love to hear them. The only thing I wouldn’t like to hear is how I’m a terrible excuse for a human being because I don’t like Dan Humphrey. I’m not kicking puppies, people. It’s just my opinion and I’m as entitled to it as you are to yours.

Also, you can follow me on Twitter @krieli1 if you never want to miss a review. Until next time…

  • drag

    after reading that shit u wrote i really do hope dan humphrey kicks all of the upper east side’s ass…u know the real problem is that u people just cannot bear to hear the truth…dan maybe a judgmental douche’ but he has always accepted that…he might act like a whiny bitch(which is annoying) but at least he is always there for the rest of the gang(see the earlier seasons)….what interestingly makes his character different than the rest of them is that even the show’s producer claims him as the voice of reason and truth(shocked yeah i know )….and also referring to the line “dan never gave serena a break about the life she happened to be born into ” …yeah that’s the reason why he fell in love with her,always stood up for her even when her own mother refused to believe in her”……it really is true people never appreciate the people who tells them the error of their ways and stand up for them instead act like the culprit is the other one..you said i am entitled to my opinion and my opinion is that you are more judgmental than dan humpfrey….no offense…

    • Kristen Elizabeth

      Thanks for reading, even though you skipped the last paragraph.

      • drag

         The pleasure was all mine..and even though i couldnt disagree more with your opinion…you sure are entitled to one…respect..

  • Talia

    dumb fat lonely bitch. Go finger urself

    • Kristen Elizabeth

      I have a feeling your insightful comment will be deleted, but thanks for reading and keeping it classy.

  • Claire

    I feel like all the characters at this point in the series are destroyed if that makes any sense. Dan isn’t on good terms with anyone really, Ivy is just annoying, Serena is completely out of it disconnected from the dang but at least we (almost) have Blair and Chuck. As of now I dont like Dan either… I guess he’s been burned by all of them but for some reason I’d like to him. But I hope everything gets back to normal and him and Serena end of together (is that crazy at this point?)… I want things at the second/third season. Those are the best parts, true gang of the series. Thanks for the blog, it’s hard to find a lot these days! I love this show and I got invested too late, sigh.

    • drag

       i dont think its crazy at all…i think the first four seasons were the best…they really messed up the characters in fifth season..specially dan and serena…but i think we are forgetting the main reason people got addicted to show in the first place…the relationship between dan and serena.. though that storyline was clearly overshadowed by chuck and blair…anyways people can always change…all we can do is hope writers be fair to the storyline….

      • Kristen Elizabeth

        That’s a really good point.  We do forget that the main couple were supposed to be Dan and Serena; Chuck and Blair just kind of emerged and developed based on the chemistry between the actors.  But I think the writers didn’t help themselves by making Dan so stubborn, so judgemental and so hypocritical. 

        Thanks for reading and commenting; I really appreciate intelligent debate as opposed to rabid hate.

    • Kristen Elizabeth

      While I can’t imagine that, with only nine episode left, Dan and Serena could find their way back to each other, I wouldn’t be opposed to him making a 180 degree turn-around.  And honestly, it’s not unheard of.  Last season Blair went from confessing her eternal love for Chuck to sleeping with Dan in about two episodes. 

      My antipathy for Dan stems from his attitude.  If he could get over himself, I’d like him a lot more. 

      Thanks for reading and commenting, though!  I was starting to worry that my only readers were the haters!

  • I’llnevertell

    first of all, very well written article.  i have been looking forward to season 6 like no other, partly due to the vast changes over the last couple of seasons with relationships etc.  I am most definately a chuck and blair fan, and lonleyboy just ruins relationships as he moves through.  I think his issue is, from day one, he’s always had a thing for blair and jealousy makes you nasty.  I mean if I were him, i’d be doing everything in my power to have blair, she’s ADORABLE!  Behind that mean bitchy way she had in the beginning of the series, she’s improved vastly into an adult character, and shows class.

    Serena, well she’s just painful at the moment.  I’m kind of over he endless endevours at failed love, and her in aptitude to grow up.  She did well at the spectator, and that was a good line for her, but anyways, I hope her and Dan end up together, they just seem right … chemistry

    If Chuck & Blair don’t end up together, i’ll literally despise the writers, they know 90% of the world wants that, and as a present to the viewers, this is the best thing they could do to end the series.

    Ivy is seriously damn sexy, and her husky voice drives me crazy, but hey, her and Rufus, REALLY – nuff said

    Lilly, well she’s become and annoyance and I hope Chuck gets his own back from Bart.  Bart and Lilly deserve each other, and its disappointing, because Lilly used to be a great person, but thats all changed.

    Anyways, I could rant all day, but I’ll let go for now, and see whats to come next week.  

    PS: If we all had the story the way we want it, wouldn’t it be boring and you’d never want to actually watch it!

    • Kristen Elizabeth

      Thank you very much for reading and commenting;)

      I agree with you on all but one point.  I could totally watch Chuck and Blair’s life together and be totally happy because they would never ben boring.

  • i want back the cw channel 11 cablevision

    • Kristen Elizabeth

      Okay, you realize that it doesn’t matter how many times you repeat this comment on all of my CW articles…I have absolutely no control over your TV channels.