New Girl “Relaunch; Katie” Review

New Girl Season 2 Premiere
Maybe it didn’t win the Emmys it deserved, but New Girl returned for its second season with not just one, but two brand new episodes, “Relaunch” and “Katie,” both of which served to remind me why I am still dying for Jess and Nick to realize how perfect they are for each other. I know, I know. If it happens, it won’t happen for a long time. I can be patient.

I can try to be patient.

Okay, I can rant obsessively.

Sooo…Schmidt spent the summer in a penis cast, and after it was removed he decided to rebrand himself and throw a huge party to launch the new Schmidt. Not surprisingly, the new Schmidt was pretty much the old Schmidt, only with a ton of regret for having dumped CeCe, especially when she showed up to his party with a guy he didn’t consider anywhere near her league. Although they seemed to arrive at some sort of peace, there were clearly lingering feelings running both ways.

Meanwhile, Jess lost her job and tried her hand at pouring shots in the sexiest outfit she could assemble, an old-fashioned cigarette girl dress. Have I mentioned before how much I love Jess? Despite her best efforts not to care about being laid off, she found a sympathetic shoulder to cry on in Nick, who reminded her that although life could suck a lot and often, there were times when it could be good. It was sweet. Perfect. Why won’t the laws of television let them hook up until season three or four?!?!

In the next episode, Jess decided to cope with unemployment by cooking, making felt pictures of her roommates and going off the grid, which for her meant letting a hot guy in the bar think that she was his internet date, a dancer named Katie. Things got really confusing when Nick accidentally set her up with a dude named Bear Claw and she accidentally sent poor Bear some naughty texts meant for internet dude. In the end, internet guy decided he could forgive Jess for lying to him because she’s hot and he wanted to keep having sex with her…and she was okay with that. So, I guess she really did go off the grid.

In one of my favorite stories of the night, an elderly bar patron got Nick to believe that he was Nick from the future and started telling him all sorts of stuff, including that one day he would really hurt Jess. Of course, the guy was crazy, but Nick went ahead and apologized to Jess in advance. Again…oh so sweet. Still not going to happen for another year or two.

And what about Winston? Well, in these two episodes we learned that he likes fruity, girly drinks constructed by Nick and he has a younger sister who also plays basketball (played by America’s Next Top Model Cycle 4 contestant Keenyah…or someone who looked exactly like her). To no one’s shock, Schmidt wanted to hook up with her. Too bad his b-ball skills weren’t better. Like I always, I wish Winston had been given more to do, but what little he is given, he always does well.

The boys (and girl) are back! What did you think of their return? Let me know below! And if you don’t want to miss any future reviews, you can follow me on Twitter @krieli1.