True Blood “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” Review

Has True Blood officially become Ghost starring Lafayette as Whoopi Goldberg? I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start off where this week’s episode began – the bath salt addicts Authority.

We lost the Eric/Bill bromance and in exchange, got Russell and Talbot 2.0. How precious was Steve’s prayer? Ha! Spin off anyone?

Admittedly, after Roman’s death I began to lose interest in the vampires. I’m frustrated with Bill and his drug-induced allegiance to Lilith. Initially, I thought this was out of character but if you think about it, Bill is always caught up in a movement of some sort. Sometimes he’s a legitimate follower, while other times he’s playing the double agent. I’ve grown tired of both.

To make matters worse, the Authority’s nonsense is now infringing upon the good times at Fangtasia. There is a scumbag in Eric’s throne kicking around my precious Pam. What the hell? You don’t mess with the Gayle and Oprah of Bon Temps! I have a sneaking suspicion that the quest for world domination spearheaded by Lilome (Salome/Lilith) will be undone by Mr. Edgington. Not even the bath salt blood of Lilith can make him a true believer in anything. With his new Talbot and pack of wolves in tow, I suspect Salome will come to regret her decision to unearth the sassy, centuries old vampire. I look forward to that day.

And now for the weekly segment of Ghosts as done by True Blood featuring LaLa and his lashes as Whoopi Goldberg. At least the writers gave us a nod to the movie. The entire Jason/Sookie/Gran/Bud/Andy/Hoyt/Jessica/Sam/Luna pig farm ordeal left me with more questions than answers. I’ll reduce it to three:

– Who else had their mind blown when they realized that Jason’s dragon guess actually ended up being right? Yes, “Sweetie” fashioned herself as a Ku Klux Klan-like dragon but thanks to a little digging around in her head by Sookie we learned that her husband left her for a shifter that turned into a dragon. In the real world, Jason actually making an accurate guess would be a sure sign of the apocalypse.

– People in the after life can clearly see what is going on with their loved ones or maybe everyone. We know this thanks to Grans reference to Sookie and the stripper fairies. With so much insight as to what is going on in the living world, why the hell did Gran lead Sookie to the deadly pig farm, aka Sheriff Bud and his dragon lady girlfriend? Really Gran? You’re going to lead your half-supe granddaughter to a man who hunts supes at night in a hideous Obama mask? Bud is dead, along with any information he had about the Stackhouse murder.

– So Hoyt lives. *insert sarcastic hooray* What happened to Jessica’s connection to Hoyt after he was rescued? I was surprised she didn’t zap over and give him a swig from her veins.

Okay, I lied. That was more than three questions, if you count sub-parts. I’ve really come to love Jason as a cop. I enjoy his rapport with Andy. So, so funny. With the bigots either dead or in jail, Sam & Luna will now have plenty of time to figure out how to get Talbot to turn over his new pet. Poor Emma.

Was anyone else as tickled as I was by the sight of Sam doing butt naked karate kicks?

The True Blood writers pleasantly surprised me this week by bringing the Terry, Patrick, ifrit story to a nice, clean conclusion. I’ve got to Netflix a show where Scott Foley doesn’t end up dead. Suggestions?

This week’s episode was pretty good as we got closure to one of this season’s story lines – let’s ignore the new stories introduced by the episode’s end. What did you think? Sound off on True Blood below!