True Blood (HBO) – It Ain’t Easy Being A Supe(rnatural)

For the record, I was this close to naming this TV Chat “It’s Hard Out There For A Supe” but some songs should just be left alone.

With all the anti-supe bigotry in Bon Temps, it seems like a good time to remind everyone that having a special ability isn’t always that great. Let us explore the downside to supernatural ability as seen on True Blood. I think you’ll agree that being a supe isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

What’s On Your Mind?
 

I’m sure there’s been a rocky relationship, tough interview or awkward moment where you thought to yourself how great it would be to get inside the person’s head so you would know exactly what they were thinking. Or how about those moments when you’re silently listening to someone make a futile attempt to spin some ridiculously unbelievable tale and you wish that they could hear your thoughts?

Sure, that all sounds good in theory but is the ability to hear people’s thoughts really all that great? How many times have you thought something you’ve vowed to take to the grave? Show of hands!

I’m convinced the ability is way overrated. Perhaps if Sookie could add the ability to glamor to her repertoire it wouldn’t be so bad. Although, I’m pretty sure that would make her Matt Parkman from Heroes and that didn’t go so well for him either.

You too might find yourself in a field creating a lightening storm with your hands in order to deplete your powers if you hear a man behind you in line at the bank fantasizing about sucking your toes enough times. Ick.

IMMORTALITY
 

Unless you’re intent on turning everyone you love into a vampire, you’re going to inevitably deal with the awkwardness of remaining ageless as they grow old and the pain of watching them die. Of course, even if you turn them into a vampire, it doesn’t mean that you are promised an eternity together. You never know when an angry Viking is going to kill your lover because you slaughtered his family a few centuries ago. Rest in peace, Talbot. You left us way too soon.

NO REST FOR THE WEARY
 

Speaking of life and death matters, not even the true death itself or being murdered by a witch who has taken residence in your boyfriend’s body entitles you to peace in the afterlife. Poor Godric burned in the rising sun after growing so weary from hatred and discord in the world. Thanks to Eric and Nora, his spirit is still sticking around to make sure his progeny stay out of trouble.

And then there’s the recently departed Jesus who we’ve seen on screen more this season than Lafayette’s mom, Tara’s mom and Hoyt’s mom combined. Let’s hope that with his grandfather’s death and his body finally back in one piece, Jesus can finally relax and return for visits with LaLa at his leisure.

STRANGE CRAVINGS
 

You could be cursed with the gruesome, eternally unpopular desire for children’s blood. Enough said.

EVEN STRANGER DIETARY REQUIREMENTS
 

You’ve lost your son, your leader or the love of your life. You’re distraught, inconsolable and seeking closure. If you’re a werewolf, there will be no traditional burials or solemn spreading of ashes. Instead, you chow down family style with your pack on the remains of your loved one. Sure, rituals and customs should be respected but have you thought of the havoc that mournful meal will wreak on your gastrointestinal system? Can you imagine what a Marcus burp smells like?

BEWITCHED
 

If you’re dating a supernatural, this creepy guy could be somewhere lurking beneath the surface. Even worse, he could be staring back at you in the mirror one day! Unless you’re a wrestler from the 1980s, this is not a good look.

SHIFTY SITUATIONS
 

At a moment’s notice you could turn into your boyfriend, resulting in a very awkward embrace as seen above. You could also have the horrible misfortune of being born to greedy, shiftless parents who force you to support the household with a career in dogfights. And by the way, you’re the dog. Even worse, one shift too many and you’re dead. Poor Tommy.

SUPPLEMENTS ANYONE?
 

Unless you’ve got an endless supply of fairy blood, life as a vampire means you never see the sun again if you want to live. Can you imagine the vitamin D deficiency you’d develop? Don’t even get me started on seasonal affective disorder!

NO VACANCY
 

Sure, being able to channel the spirits of the dead and deliver messages to their grieving loved ones may seem nice but this ain’t Ghost. This is True Blood. That means when you least expect it, a vengeful, murderous, smoke monster-wielding spirit could hop into your mouth against your will. Let’s not forget about crazy witches who force you to kill your boyfriend because he had the nerve to stop your crazy ways when you were alive.

 

CONCLUSION

The resident supes on True Blood may be able to move at rapid speed, make you forget something horrible and make you one of the most feared residents of Bon Temps but not without a cost. It’s a hard knock life for some of our favorite supes, so maybe we should cut them a break from time to time (looking at you masked supe killers)! Would you accept the risks, in exchange for an ability? Sound off below!