Royal Pains “Manimal” Review – Poor Van Dyke is Having a Very Bad Day

Royal Pains - Season 4 Episode 8

Tonight’s episode of Royal Pains is called “Manimal,” which is pretty appropriate considering that every storyline centered around men and their animals.

First up Hank gets a new patient in the form of an old friend of Divya’s who’s a large animal vet and suffering from (what else?) a mysterious illness. They do finally figure out what’s wrong with Tom, but not before Hank has to take over a procedure on a cow. Next there’s Dmitry and his illness, and the fact that he absolutely refuses to treat it, forcing Hank to call in the big guns. Well, okay maybe a really teeny tiny gun called “Stanley” who can sniff out when Dmitry’s glucose is unbalanced and warn him before it’s too late.

Finally there was Van Dyke’s story, which I have to say was my favorite of this whole episode. I’ve been wondering where they’ve been hiding him this season and was beginning to think that maybe the actor had decided to leave the show and they were just going to quietly write him out. But then when he showed up acting like a drunken ass and Evan was forced to fire him, I thought they were going to have his exit be a bit more dramatic. I’m very happy that I was wrong on all counts. Sure his heartache was over a bunny, and sure I giggled my way through some of it, but I still found myself feeling sorry for the poor guy. Which is not something I necessarily ever thought I’d feel for a guy like Van Dyke, even if I did dig him as a character.

Then there was Hank and Christina. After Hank suggested that they take it slow it seemed like they were doing just that, though I never saw the two of them spend much time together. So we see their first actual date at the end of the episode, but it looks like the plan for taking things slow got thrown out pretty fast. I mean I’ve heard of sleeping together on the first date but that was more like sleeping together DURING the first date, wasn’t it?

Last week, after I saw that I was the only one still pining for Jill and Hank to be together, I decided to keep an open mind and let that go. But I’m still not ready to accept Christina yet so I’m just going to wait and see what happens between those two.

My favorite bits..

“Now there’s a party where you don’t want to get thrown in the pool.”

Everyone giving Paige the stink eye for saying “Aw, like the glue” when Divya mentioned that her first horse was named Elmer. Funny, that was the first thought I had, too.

Van Dyke walking into the kitchen drunk as a skunk, hooking himself up to an IV and then promptly falling on his ass. What is wrong with me that I *still* find him kinda endearing after all that. I swear, I must really have a thing for the bad boys.

Awww! “Mini-Whinny” – Best name for a mini horse farm ever. And also…look at the ponies!!

“I thought you were a large animal vet.” – Ha! Once again I was thinking the exact same thing before he said it.

Christina translating a whole bunch of stuff, including phrases like “medical monkey” and “take his temperature with my boot” into “one hour.”

“Oh yeah, that’s gonna need a doctor. Fortunately I am one.”

“Isn’t that from Fight Club?”
“I can’t talk about that.” – Bahahahaha!

“I don’t have a concussion. What I do have is a pain in my ass.”
“Well then bend over and let’s take a look.” – And Divya comes in with a nice zinger herself. Haha!

Dmitry hiring Hank for a job I don’t think he was quite trying to get.

Evan pointing out all the reasons why Van Dyke’s drunken night was his business, too.

Hank bringing an x-ray to a farm. Wow. I worked with horses and I never saw a vet bring an x-ray machine quite THAT big.

“I have a pregnant cow with a very specific birth plan.”

Hank busting out some Russian.

Hank turning down coffee from the urn that Dmitry puked in. Good choice.

Boris playing pimp and offering Christina and Hank his car and driver to have a date night.

The split screen phone conversation between Hank and Divya.

Oh come on Hank, you’re a doctor. You can’t tell me you’re THAT uncomfortable milking a cow. LOL.

Evan taking Paige to the bar where Van Dyke had been drinking.

Evan and Paige discussing what kind of parents they want to be with their children.

Tom instructing Hank in how to milk the cow. Ha!

Finding out the real story behind Van Dyke’s night. Aw, poor guy. See? I knew he wasn’t all bad.

Paige doing a complete one-eighty and changing her mind about Van Dyke.

Hank and Divya realizing that Tom was having a stroke…in the middle of a traffic jam. Oh no!

Hank commandeering an ice cream truck for his patient.

Hank offering Dmitry the cutest doggie ever as a glucose detector.

“Stanley says he can prove it.”

Somehow Ronnie’s true identity made me love Van Dyke more. Awwww. Poor guy.

Knowing as soon as Evan’s feet were under the bed that Ronnie had already kicked the bucket. Van Dyke is really having a bad day, isn’t he?

“Maybe your dog is broken.”

“Son of a bitch.”
“Technically true but I think he prefers Stanley.”

Giggling uncontrollably at Ronnie’s memorial. I’m a terrible, terrible person.

“Bunnies don’t come from the ocean.”
“Just roll with it.”

Hank ordering everyone to casually scatter, while Van Dyke desperately tried to scatter the last of Ronnie’s ashes.

LOL! Okay I must be completely on the writers’ wavelength tonight. I was totally thinking Narnia before Christina said it.

Hank surprising Christina with a date in an ice castle. (Well at least that’s what I was calling it in my head.)

What did you think of this episode of Royal Pains? Got any favorite bits or least favorite bits of your own? I’d love to hear from you!

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