Dallas “Collateral Damage” Review

So…not to brag or anything, but did I make the right call or what? As we discovered in last week’s episode of Dallas (which I missed due to Comic-Con), Rebecca is indeed pregnant, as all female characters who puke on TV inevitably are. In this week’s episode, Collateral Damage, she found out she’s carrying twins and that they are definitely Christopher’s. Looks like the Ewings are stuck with her for the next eighteen years.

I’ve been around enough pregnant women to know that morning sickness can’t exactly be controlled, but did she really have to puke all over Elena’s bathroom? The girl’s not stupid; she figured it out immediately (I guess she watches a lot of TV in the guest house), and of course it cut her deeply to know that the woman who ruined her life with Christopher is now carrying his child. Poor Elena. She’s not the first woman to be jerked around by the Ewings, but it would be nice to go through an episode without seeing her heart break.

Speaking of hearts, John Ross does have one, but it only works for Elena. The rest of the time, it’s a vestigial organ used to pump blood to his brain, to keep it scheming on behalf of Ewing Oil. Now that Bobby and Christopher have found a legal way to keep him from drilling on Southfork, his shady investors are getting antsy and he’s getting desperate. He can’t even get his cousin Lucy to help him; she’s wisely siding with Bobby.

To make matters worse, his crazy-pants sex buddy “Marta” either threw herself or was pushed off the balcony of her hotel room only minutes after they had a violent confrontation. She scratched him, putting his DNA under her nails, and when John Ross saw her body, he fled the scene like a baby giraffe. The police showed up at Southfork not too much later to take him into custody.

It wasn’t their first trip out to the ranch. Anne’s husband had Bobby arrested for the punch he threw at him last week, but he dropped the charges when Bobby very reluctantly apologized. Although he gave Bobby a packet that supposedly contained the truth about Anne, Bobby chose to burn it without looking, telling his wife that he trusts her and wants her to trust him with her secrets.

John Ross isn’t doing so well without J.R. Can he survive in the big house or will his daddy sweep back into town and pull some strings to get him out? I guess it depends if his son matters more to him than taking down Cliff Barnes in Vegas.

Sorry, John Ross. You’ll be wearing orange for awhile.

What did you think of the episode? Let me know below!