Royal Pains “You Give Love a Bad Name” Review

Royal Pains You Give Love a Bad Name Season 4 Episode 5 (6)

Michelle “Moki” Carlbert is our usual Royal Pains recapper (and every other USA show for that matter), but she’s in San Diego this week attending Comic-Con. I’m not there because apparently I’d rather enjoy the 100 degree heat of Georgia as opposed to weather like this. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t go, because I never would have left. Anyway, I took over the responsibility of recapping Royal Pains this week because I completely checked out at the end of last season. The storylines got preposterous. It seemed like they had run out of good ideas so we had to deal with Hank and Evan fighting, Boris engaged in fatherhood and espionage, and Divya trying to kill people while pulling a double at Hamptons Heritage. Still, it seemed worthwhile to check back in to see if I should return to fold.

What I conveniently found upon my return to the series is all of things I enjoyed about the series, and all the things that I disliked about it wrapped up into one episode. I always enjoyed Royal Pains when it was a show about a MacGuyver-like doctor who stumbled into the sweetest situation of all-time because he knew what to do at a party one night. This week saw Hank do some impressive MacGuyver work. At the start of the episode, we see Hank remove a bullet from a guy’s HEART IN THE MIDDLE OF A GRAVEL WALKWAY! (more on that later). That was certainly a cool way to start, but I did enjoy the patient of the week elements to this week’s episode. For starters, we had a classic That Gal (my term for a woman who you recognize from several things, but have a no idea what her name is) show up that allowed the show to be more flexible with how they constructed the episode. She allowed Divya to work through some issues, and set Hank up with a potential love interest. Where either of those things goes is anyone’s guess, but it could provide potential forward movement in formerly confounding plotlines.

While I enjoyed the matchmaker’s character, the resolution to the story of her diagnosis led into one of the things that bugs me about Royal Pains. I don’t mind Hank being the best doctor in the Hamptons. However, there are other ways to show Hank is the best doctor in the Hamptons besides making other doctors look like mediocre professionals. Even Hank’s Physician’s Assistant is a better doctor than most of the doctors that we come across in the Hamptons. Hank and Divya are able to diagnosis this woman with Rocky Mountain spotted fever by looking at a rash on her foot. Clearly, the doctors at Hamptons Heritage couldn’t be bothered to give the woman a full exam. Oh well, it’s a good thing they have Hank there to clean up their mistakes.

The other problem that surfaced for me last season was the Boris Super Secret German Family Espionage storyline. I don’t mind a little intrigue in a show, but this storyline seems like its on a completely different show. Royal Pains had two brothers in the sunny Hamptons treating rich people and doing good deeds for the poor. It was light, fun, and knew what it wanted to be. Clearly, that wasn’t good enough for the show. I guess too many people watched the first 3 years. I love Campbell Scott. I think he’s an exceedingly competent, professional actor. That being said, this whole storyline has come so far out of left field for me that I sigh a little when he walks onto the screen. I miss the good old days when he would show up for 3 minutes an episode and do something cool or awesome. What can I say, I long for better days.

*Some quick thoughts:

*My reaction to seeing the opening credits was “Where is Jill?” It took me entirely too long on Google to find out she had left the show. That’s totally fine. They had arrived at a point where they didn’t know what to do with her.

*Newberg’s off-color remark about her and Fonzie only having sex once that day when they met Evan and Hank made me cringe.

*Seriously, Hank cut into a dude’s heart and removed a bullet on a gravel walkway. That needed to be pointed out again.

*Hank was surprisingly well-dressed for the mixer. I’m not use to seeing him look that dapper.

*Of course Harper doesn’t want anything to do with Hank. She’s got a thing going with Peter Bash.

*I’m glad Evan is a patient dude. As many pep talks as he has to give Paige, he certainly needs to be.

*I think if everyone listened to Hank on this show, it would only be a 30 minute show. Real question: Why would a doctor, a glorified accountant, and an ex-con get involved in situations that involve espionage, murder, and governmental involvement? Anyone? I’ll listen to any respectable reason as to why this would happen.

What did everyone else think? Do you think I should come back to the series? I’m admittedly on the fence.