Storage Wars “All’s Fair in Storage and Wars” & “The Fast and the Curious” Review

The Storage Wars crew returned tonight with “All’s Fair in Storage and Wars”, as the crew makes their way to the US Storage Center in the beautiful beach community of Laguna Niguel. That’s right, the team’s all here! The Sheetz team showed up, Jarrod and Brandi came, Barry and…Jeff Jarred?! Who is this guy?!

That’s right, tonight’s first episode introduced us to a new bidder: Jeff. With Dave Hester missing the last episode due to decreasing sales in his stores, it looks like the Storage Wars producers are lining up a new character to replace Hester when he’s unable to make it to the show. Even though I like the idea of meeting new buyers, Jeff’s introduction was a bit…off-putting.

It’s one thing if you’re competitive and vocal with the auctioneers, but it’s another thing to whine about an auction that happened months ago in Lancaster. It just sounds like sour grapes and makes you look petty. I agree with Dave Hester’s live tweet: It’s a part of the game!

As for the current auctions, Barry won the first locker full of nice furniture for $3,000. He didn’t find much at first, but he took an antique meat slicer to Cafe Firenze in Moorpark. He ended up finding out that if he restores the meat slicer for an extra $3,000, he could sell it for 12 grand! It’s very rare that Barry makes this kind of money, so good for him!

Thew new guy Jeff won a locker full of donated furniture for $2,700. He had one of his desks appraised at his shop in Burbank (That’s where I work!), and found out it was actually worth a whopping five thousand bucks! He ended up making $6,479 in his debut episode! Not too shabby!

Jarrod won another locker full of furniture for $3,250. Not too much exciting went on here, as the only saving grace of the unit was a humidor worth $1,800. The rest of the items added up, though, so they came out $2,600 ahead.

Moving on to tonight’s second episode, “The Fast and the Curious”, the crew moves along to Westside Mini Storage in Lancaster, California. I’m not sure why they didn’t make this the first episode of the night, as it would have made a better introduction to Jeff since his original complaint originated from an auction in Lancaster.

While I really didn’t like Jeff’s introduction in the first episode, I thought the guy really had a point tonight. While his original complaint about Dan playing favorites seemed totally baseless and sour, it was a bit funny to hear Barry talking about how Dan called him the night before and told him about the storage facility. It’s a bit tough to pretend that you don’t play favorites if you’re telling your buyers about auctions beforehand.

Anyway, Jeff the snitch won a “Terrarium Unit” for $350, and ended up finding a tiki statue that wasn’t actually a tiki statue. It was really just a generic tribal statue that only ended up fetching 200 bucks. However, he ended up selling making $900 bucks on such a little room, so Jeff is really off to a great start, even if he may be a little annoying.

Darrell won a unit full of haircare products for $600. There wasn’t really a whole lot going on here, except that the Tank Top Twins are starting to get on my nerves. For the first few episodes, Darrell was being unnecessarily mean to Brandon. Now Darrell seems to be in a good mood and he’s cracking jokes, but Brandon is being a jerk. Are these two guys ever in a good mood at the same time?!

Barry won a unit full of car parts for $1,050, despite Jeff’s annoying complaints over Dan and Laura helping him. Is it just me, or does it seem like Dan’s “Help” was added in post production? Dan telling Barry about the saw in his unit being expensive sounded like it was dubbed in, which makes it seem like they’re completely manufacturing the drama, which is super lame. Anyway, he ends up selling his auto parts to a professional racer for a total profit of $2,275, and he’s the winner for tonight’s second episode! He’s also rocketed to the top of our season long standings! Go Barry!

SEASON LONG STANDINGS:

Barry: $13,022
Darrell: $7,310
Dave: $8,150
Jarrod & Brandi: $9,405
Jeff: $7,649

Random Thoughts:

– The buyers are tweeting along with the show now? Great. Now can we see what the fake Barry Weiss account has to say about this?

– You’d think with all of that research that Brandi does on the computer she’d be a faster typer.

– Go follow the REAL Barry Weiss @itsbarryweiss! Or you can still follow the fake one, like me!