‘True Blood’ Season 5 Advance Review – “I Am Wearing a Walmart Sweatsuit For Y’all”

true blood season 5 premiere review

If you’ve been reading TV Equals (formerly Daemon’s TV) for a while now, then you might have read some of my True Blood reviews from previous seasons. I’ve been watching the show since season 1 and still get really excited every season for it. And tonight, June 10th, is the exciting premiere of the fifth season at 9pm on HBO. Unfortunately, this season I will not be reviewing True Blood on a weekly basis, but I leave you in the very capable hands of Jocelyn who will be your True Blood guru this season.

But I couldn’t leave you without some True Blood teases. I have seen the first four episodes of this new season (literally back to back) and WOW, the show kind of cleaned house last season, but it wasn’t in vain because this season’s new cast is fangtastic!

You probably know the drill by now, I cannot tell you too much about what will happen this season, but I wanted to do something different this time. Since Jocelyn, as I mentioned above, wrote a great article sharing her Fantasy Wish List for season 5, I thought I would provide some hints regarding her wishes, following with some more information on what to look forward to this season. So let’s do it!

(Please Note: This is based on the first four episodes, lots could change after that, but that’s all I know so far.)


I never watched Oz (frankly I don’t think I could take it) or Law & Order: SVU, but I am fan of Chris Meloni and he is absolutely brilliant as Roman, the leader of the Vampire Authority Chancellors. And let me reassure you right away, he is not underutilized at all, quite the contrary, after first meeting him in episode 2, he becomes quite a big part of this season’s story arc. I think he is one of my new favorite characters, that’s how good he is.

One of my favorite line of his in episode 2 is him calling Eric and Bill “Fuck up One and Fuck Up Two”.

As for episode 4, well… I can’t even say, that’s how magnificent it is. (Hint: It involves a stake)

So Jocelyn and Meloni fans out there, sit back and enjoy the ride!


Sorry, if you were hoping for Sookie’s line suitors to end, you might be disappointed. While I enjoyed the fact that this season starts out with Sookie and Eric/Bill having two totally separate storylines, it not only seems like they will cross paths again, especially with Russell Edgington still being alive and all, but there will also be some development in the Alcide department.

I personally never minded that part of the story, actually I think I quite like it, since Sookie is still one of my favorites in True Blood, so I’m happy.


There was lots of trimming last season in terms of cast, but this season adds quite a few new characters to replace the old ones, actually I think there might even be more than before, so for now the fat is still here, but once you’ve seen it, you’ll come to love this new fat… a LOT and it’s only the beginning of the season. There is still lots of time for trimming.

As for Tara… well that’s one thing that I cannot reveal, you’ll just have to tune in and watch. I personally was very satisfied with the answer… but I’ve said too much already.

Oh and no Crystal in view so far and I doubt she’ll be coming back, so we can all breathe again.


Ah Sam! He really does not get a break does he?

No really, he doesn’t get a break and it doesn’t look like he’ll be getting one this season either. The aftermath of Marcus’ death will impact him and his relationship with Luna.

My favorite Sam quote in episode 4:

Customer at Merlotte’s: “So what do you recommend here.”

Sam: “Honestly, nothing.”


So Alcide is now technically the new leader of the pack, but so far, it’s not as exciting as it sounds. We do find out more about one of the werewolves rituals, which are quite yucky if you ask me. Thankfully, Alcide is kind of a rebel about the whole thing.

This season he also has to deal with Debby’s parents who come looking for their daughter, whom we know of course was shot by Sookie.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that Alcide has a really exciting storyline so far, but hopefully that will change later on in the season.


And that concludes my answers to Jocelyn’s Fantasy Wish List for Season 5, but that’s only part of all the exciting things coming this season. Let’s talk about the rest.

Eric and Bill

These two get into quite the trouble with the Authority, which seems to be a big arc this season and guides their arc so far.

We also meet Nora (Lucy Griffiths), someone from Eric’s past, whom I have come to really enjoy and want to find out more about.


If you’re a Pam fan, you’ll love this new season so far. She not only has some excellent scenes (including a real tearjerker one with Eric in episode 4), but we get see a flashback of her as a human, when she was the madam of the Comstock Brothel in San Francisco, as well as her first encounter with Eric. This will also shed some light as to who she really is as a character, her view of the world and why she’s so loyal to Eric.


The arrival of his Iraq War buddy, Patrick Devins (Scott Foley), triggers some PTSD for him and is also the trigger that sets him off on a new story. Not sure so far what directions this will take, but I do know that episode 4 looked like it was only the beginning of it.


These two don’t have anything too exciting happening, but I do like how each of their character evolves, especially Jason, and how their relationship is explored. It might not be exactly what you think either.

Sheriff Andy

His relationship with Holly gets explored a little more. It’s kind of a sweet pairing.

Steve Newlin

He’s back! Steve Newlin will get involved this season in quite a different way that he was now that he’s a vampire.

New Awesome Guest Stars

Christopher Heyerdahl (Sanctuary, Hell on Wheels) – Episode 2

Peter Mensah (Spartacus) – Episode 2

Carolyn Hennesy (Cougar Town) – Episode 2

Tina Majorino (Veronica Mars) – Episode 3

A favorite quote:

“I am wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for y’all. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit I don’t know what is.” -Pam

“We were created in God’s image, not humans. And their flesh shall nourish yours. Their blood shall flow within you, for as the beetle nourishes the lark, so shall humans nourish vampires.” – Remember that promo quote? That’s Christopher Heyerdahl’s character talking!

Random Words (Because I can’t say anything else):

– Vampire Bible

– Mini Werewolf

– Mainstreaming

– New Nan Flanigan

– Fairies… again

– Demon

– Tanning Salon

And that’s all I have for you. But if that’s not enough to get you excited for this new season, then I give up.

The first four episode of True Blood‘s fifth season are really strong and I have very high hopes for this season. So far it looks better than the last two, so fingers crossed it keeps up.

Don’t miss the season 5 premiere of True Blood tonight, June 10th at 9pm on HBO and come back to let me know what you thought and read Jocelyn‘s review for the premiere.

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