Gossip Girl “The Princess Dowry” Review

Well, Gossipers. I think there’s two ways we can look at “The Princess Dowry,” this week’s episode of Gossip Girl. We can either say that the writers have completely (and hopefully temporarily) lost their sense of direction and have made a huge mistake…or we can throw up our hands in defeat and say that Blair Waldorf is no longer good enough for the new and improved Chuck Bass, and if she wants Dan that badly, she’s free to take him, unkempt hair, pretentious writings and all.

At the risk of being called biased and thereby unqualified to write this review, can I just ask exactly when Blair supposedly fell out of love with Chuck? It wasn’t when they were running off in a limo together. It wasn’t when she was bargaining with higher beings to save his life. It certainly wasn’t when she was telling him she loved him more and more every day at her wedding. Best I can figure, it happened when Dan set him up to take the fall for sending the video of that confession to Gossip Girl. I’m sorry. Whether you’re a Dair or a Chair….that makes no sense!!

It is not biased to point out bad writing, and bad writing is all we’ve been getting lately. Because even after finding out that it was Dan who sent in that video, Blair has decided she really is in love with him. Okay, Blair. Chuck was everything you wanted three weeks ago, and now he’s been banished to the friend zone. Whatever. I’m starting to get into the idea of him and Serena more and more every week. Talk about a power couple; they would own Manhattan.

I almost want Georgina’s plan, whatever it is, to fail, and for Louis’s family to bankrupt the Waldorfs. Blair could stand to be in the 99% for awhile; I bet Chuck “Proud to Be the 1%” Bass would start to look real good again real quickly. But on the other hand, I don’t want Blair to go to Chuck as a pauper. It’s beneath what was once a great character. She either snaps out of this temporary insanity (hopefully by means of Dan’s less-than-stellar bedroom performance…hey, I didn’t make that one up; it was in the preview!!) and remembers she was in love with Chuck three weeks ago, or she settles into a new life in Dan’s Brooklyn and lets Serena rule the island with Mr. Bass.

Moving on, because I’m starting to get a headache, we naively thought that the whole Charlie/Ivy/Lola debacle was over with CeCe’s death, but the plot has merely thickened. Somehow, CeCe found out the truth about Ivy and left the bulk of her estate to the girl who was pretending to be her granddaughter. Ivy, of course, does not choose to take the high road and immediately kicks Lily and Rufus out of their/her apartment. Meanwhile, Lola, the real granddaughter, wants nothing to do with her money-grubbing relatives, not even Serena who was really only pissed about the betrayal of her trust, which has become a sad constant in her life.

Unfortunately for Lola, it won’t be so easy to get out of the Rhodes/van der Woodsen clan; it turns out that she and Serena aren’t cousins…they’re half-sisters, as William had an affair with Carol that resulted in Lola. If she finds out, will that change things for Lola? Can’t say for sure, but I don’t see Serena passing up the chance to have a sister in her life.

So, Georgina is off to Monaco in an attempt to solve Blair’s dowry crisis by way of making as much trouble as possible, Serena is (rightfully) moping, but hopefully won’t start eating worms before she receives the laptop Georgina sent to her, Blair and Dan are making out (the less said about that, the better), and Chuck found out that his Uncle Jack saved his life with a blood transfusion. Not sure how that last piece of information will be relevant in the future, but it’s worth noting. As is the fact that Georgina has the uncanny ability to be standing in the hallway or passing by the bar at the exact right moments to learn everyone’s deepest, darkest secrets.

Are we certain she hasn’t been Gossip Girl all along?

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let me know below!