CSI “Stealing Home” Review

It took some doing, no thanks in part to having a pair of twins in the suspect pool, but I managed to keep up with the twists and turns and four bodies present in “Stealing Home,” this week’s episode of CSI, at least enough to see some hints of the macabre whimsy that put this show on the map so many years ago.

Nick and Sara were called out on a missing persons case, only to find that not only had a woman disappeared (she was later found alive and safe), but her entire (mobile) house had vanished. A family feud over who owned the home after the mother’s death had lead to much squabbling amongst the siblings, and prompted the youngest daughter to steal the home simply to make it all stop.

But she didn’t count on her long-lost father (who turned out not to be her biological parent) showing up in order to remove a body he’d hidden in the walls twenty years earlier, the body of the girl’s actual father. In trying to conceal his first crime, the very bad man wound up committing two more. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least with three (four if you count the mother) bodies attached to the house, no one really wanted it anymore.

I continue to like Finn (she confirmed it’s spelled with two “n’s”), and I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that she’ll fit in well with the others. However, her past with DB is still a secret they’re not willing to share. I would like to see her tackle a case that doesn’t involve blood, though; we know she’s the master of spatter, but let’s see how she does with a strangulation or a poisoning.

We were treated to some hints of Nick and Greg’s personal lives this week. Nick, as it turns out, is not only still dating Doc Robbins’s niece, but the cute nurse he met during last week’s case. Playing the field, he calls it. Nick, Nick, Nick. Shame on you. But at least he’s not celibate, as they would have had us believe for the past few years.

Meanwhile, DB seems to think there’s something going on between Greg and Morgan, and honestly, that would be fine with me. The last time Greg had any romance in his life, it was with a psychotic burlesque dancer; at the very least Morgan doesn’t seem likely to want him dead.

I do have to say something about the utter continuity fail I witnessed tonight. At one point during the family’s bickering, Sara turned to Nick and said she was glad she was an only child. I literally yelled at my television, “You’re not!!” Way back in the show, I believe it was in season three’s “One Hit Wonder,” Sara told Grissom that she once got her older brother in trouble by accidentally telling their mother about his pot stash.

Listen, I realize that this show has been on the air for twelve years, and that some of the current writers haven’t seen every episode, but isn’t there, like, a white board or something in the writer’s room that at least lists basic information about the characters? Good rule of thumb for any writers of a long-running TV series: if you decide to mention a character’s family, double-check to see that there’s nothing already established about them. And if there is, which after twelve years is pretty darn likely, you might not want to just reinvent their past for the sake of one line of dialogue. Trust me, the long-time fans of the show will not appreciate it.

Epic fail on this one, CSI. I know a dozen fans, myself included, who would be willing to check the scripts for continuity issues…for FREE!! Surely you can afford to pay someone to do it for you. I expect better things in the future.

What did you think of the episode? Let me know below!