Hung “The Whole Beefalo” Review

So this was the season-ending episode of Hung, though it didn’t feel like it. And I’m glad it didn’t feel like a series-ender. Which it could be, if certain critics have their way. That said…

It sure wasn’t the strongest way to go out, was it?

“The Whole Beefalo,” written by Kyle Peck and directed by Adam Davidson, didn’t make me a very happy Hung fan. As we open, Ray (Thomas Jane) is faux-proposing to Girl He Never Met. Seems appropriate. (Hey, anything to make a buck, right?) And it was probably the most realistic thing that happened on tonight’s show.

It’s not a criticism; the show is about a freaking male prostitute, not brain surgery. The target audience isn’t MENSA. Granted, it still has a way to go before it completely nukes the fridge or jumps multiple sharks (see: Californication), but a little tongue-in-cheekiness doesn’t harm an already-campy concept.

Still…

“How do you know so much about cows?”

“I’m a man, Tanya. I know all kinds of shit.”

Ray and Tanya stealing cows from Charlie to end the episode was … I’m not even sure what to say. Tanya (Jane Adams), paying the hard way for sticking her neck out for Charlie (the love of my life Lennie James), has just been beaten to death. This is from me—a Lennie James fan—that I didn’t want to see Charlie on my screen any more.

Prior to that, Tanya and Ray had to go pursue Lydia, who was back in torture mode, though I wasn’t really clear why they wrote that… other than to have her call them a pimp and a whore publicly. Those wacky cops and their crazy jokes!

I sort of wish they hadn’t prolonged Jessica’s (Anne Heche) inevitable firing until the last episode, but I enjoyed her controlled meltdown, just as I’ve enjoyed her all season.

Lenore (Rebecca Creskoff) was only semi-nude, so that was slightly weird. She wants Jason (Stephen Amell) all to herself, so tries to convince Jason to break up with Sandee (Analeigh Tipton)… which of course he does. I’m not sure why.

Dude. Never break up with a girl whose nana just died. Classless, even for a manwhore.

(Speaking of manwhores, wouldn’t Jason make a fine contestant on The Bachelorette? I think so. He’d be the least whorelike of any of ’em.)

Back to Tipton. I like her. But if this character, played by a model (ex-model?), is on an HBO show, I expect her to be a little more invested in the whoring process, if you know what I mean. Like why hasn’t that even been broached? It’s like they’re living in an alternate universe in which there are no female prostitutes.

Or is that just Detroit?

Best line:

“… “Bang”…? That’s stupid. I don’t get it.”

You got it now, Lenore! I guess Lenore getting shot counts as a cliffhanger, though Creskoff’s little yelp didn’t exactly sound like a death rattle. I kind of imagine Sandee shot her in the pocketbook.

Or the dog. That would be kind of funny: dead pug.

Anyway. Still underwhelmed. Felt a little like everyone was just going through the motions. I expected a little more out of a season ender.

If you want a dead pug, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker, you Schnauzer fans!