HUNG “What’s Going On Downstairs / Don’t Eat Prince Eric” Review

HUNG “What’s Going On Downstairs / Don’t Eat Prince Eric” Season 3 Episode 7 – If we learned anything from today’s episodes it’s that Ray don’t do dudes. He don’t do dudes!

Sort of. Though clearly, in the prostitution world, that’s a big check mark against you. If my past life as a male porn star taught me anything, it’s that you really can’t be picky about who you—

Okay, I’m kidding. I don’t believe in past lives. Besides, as Tanya (Jane Adams) taught us, prostitution is not pornography! There’s a social ladder that travels (down) to the lowest rung of adult entertainment, and the proper evolution is, I believe: Waitress, Sports Bar Waitress, Hooters Girl, Stripper, Prostitute, Porn Actress.

Not that I’m an expert at these sorts of things. (Hooters has great wings. Ask my wife!)

Anyway. As we learned last episode, Kyla is a dude. Kyla—played by real-life 99% totally female actress Jamie Clayton—does not look like a dude! Kyla would fool me and most other men… probably because she’s played by a chick.

Well, except she does have a smoky, low, could-be-male voice. And the camera kept focusing on her hands, as though their size should be the ultimate tip off (I still think they look like female hands).

But no! Jamie Clayton is a woman!

(…I’m 99% sure.)

I know I wasn’t sure. About the character, I mean. Of course that then becomes the mystery of the episode. Because at first we don’t believe it, then we do believe it, then we don’t believe it. And then basically they force us to wonder the entire episode whether or not we’re going to get an ending like The Crying Game or not. (Whoops! Hope I didn’t spoil that movie for you.)

By the time all was said and done, “What’s Going On Downstairs / Don’t Eat Prince Eric,” written by Eduardo Machado and Micah Schraft and directed by Bronwen Hughes, was another excellent episode in what has been a return to season one form for Hung. They basically managed to make a tranny episode—usually just a setup for a one-note “oops!” gag—something more than just a joke. This one had heart. If you weren’t feeling for Kyla by the end of the episode, well—you have no heart, my cold, unfeeling friend!

And they brought the Air Supply. (That’s points, people. They brought the Air Supply.)

Now… of course we can argue the semantics of common sense. Dan/Kyla is sort of cruisin’ for a bruisin’ as soon as he/she sets foot on the gymnasium floor of his/her class reunion. And deep down, he/she knows this. It’s the danger of discovery that thrills him/her. Kyla couldn’t have not imagined it wouldn’t somehow go this bad back when he/she first conceived of the idea. Else Kyla is completely delusional.

So while I kind of feel for Kyla—because I have a heart—a small part of me goes, “Well… she was kind of asking to be discovered.”

You make your bed, you lie in it.

(Tangent: Does that adage even make sense? if you make your bed, you’re not going to lie in it. People lie in unmade beds! I’m just sayin’.)

Two lines in today’s episode encapsulate the wit and wisdom for tonight’s excellent half-hour:

“I met those two at Arby’s.” “Arby’s?”

Okay, that’s an inside joke. I can’t explain every Arby’s joke to you people!

“Sometimes hos steal. They not nuns. They hos.”

Wisdom indeed—from the man who, as it turned out, was the one who stole Ray’s shoebox full of money in the first place. (Clearly Jason ‘fessed to the crime only to save the life of poor Prince Eric.) So I guess this means Tanya is loverless again; her pimp Yoda has taken the cash and flown the coop.

I can only hope Charley’s departure means we’ll be seeing Lennie James in The Walking Dead again. I liked him here too, though.

And I have liked much of this season of Hung. I kind of don’t want it to end.

If you a ho, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker!

P.S. More twins!