GOSSIP GIRL “The Fasting and the Furious” Review

GOSSIP GIRL “The Fasting and the Furious” Season 5 Episode 5 – I don’t know about you, Gossipers, but I feel like I was promised a lot in regards to this week’s Gossip Girl, “The Fasting and the Furious,” but walked away with surprisingly little. Maybe it was the fact that so much screen time was wasted on Louis and his family, with almost nothing left over for Chuck and his neuroses which are, let’s face it, far more interesting.

It’s Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement and fasting. Sounds like the perfect opportunity for Dan to apologize for using his nearest and dearest as a stepping stone to fame and fortune. Oh, wait…that would mean he’d have to get off his literary high horse. Was I the only one who was glad to see that Nate’s moral code still allowed for him to hold a grudge about his portrayal (or lack thereof)?

To no one’s shock, Dan all but promises Serena the movie rights to his book, then on the (questionable) advice of his agent, goes on live TV and alludes to a deal with much bigger Hollywood hitters. He comes around, though, and gives the rights to Serena’s boss when she finally admits the truth, that after reading the book, she was understandably hurt at being characterized, but, more than that, marginalized while the Blair character took her place as the love of fictional Dan’s life.

This jealousy leads to Serena blowing off Blair in the middle of a high holiday crisis. With the possible exception of her mom and her future sister-in-law, everyone in Louis and Blair’s families are thrilled at the news of the baby. Scheming sister Beatrice manipulates her mother into coming up with a contract that basically binds Blair to Monaco for life. In a rare display of backbone, Louis reminds his mother that she doesn’t have the authority to dictate terms to the future king. Having created strife in the monarchy, Beatrice’s plan to take the throne is underway.

The night ends with Louis finding the pregnancy test results that Blair really should have burned. Will he read them though? Or will he stick by his decision to trust his fiancee?

I wish I found the royal intrigue more…um…intriguing. Maybe it’s the accents that aren’t doing it for me, but I would rather watch Chuck Bass floss his teeth than sit through another scene with the fake Grimaldi’s. This story line needs to wrap up soon.

Speaking of Chuck, after bumping into a hot psychologist at the dog park, Mr. Bass decides that what he needs to get over Blair is to have sex on a shrink’s sofa. But fortunately the good doctor doesn’t go for it. In a scene that crushed even my soul, she brutally cut Chuck down to size, leaving him ready to start actual therapy. But it seems like the doctor might not be what she seems. Could she be working for Diana, gathering secrets about New York’s elite? That’s a scheme that can’t fly for long.

Kind of like Diana herself. It’s one thing to tell it like it is, a la Gossip Girl herself, but it’s quite another to actively seek out the destruction of others. Now that she has Charlie/Ivy under her thumb, she’s managed to nab something juicy on the van der Woodsen clan. Diana and her website can’t go away fast enough for me.

So…while it might have seemed like a lot went on this week…do we really know anything more than we did this time last week? I expect better things in November, Gossip Girl. And would it kill you to put Chuck and Blair in the same place for more than a few minutes? Consider it an early holiday treat to your faithful Gossipers.

What did you think of the episode? Should Blair’s outfit be immediately burned? Is there a reconciliation in Dan and Serena’s future? Let me know below?