Only If You Pay Me…

Only if you pay me

I fashion myself a TV connoisseur. After all, I have taking a liking to calling myself The TV Czar. That being said, there are some shows out there that I can’t bring myself to watch. However, if some of these shows were willing to pay me per episode, then I may consider giving them a look.

The thought got me thinking: How much would it take to get me to watch some of these shows? To answer that question, I put 5 shows into 5 different cash ranges based on dislikability. On to the list:

Cheeseburger and a Smile
 

SING-OFF/THE VOICE/AMERICAN IDOL – I don’t mind a good singing show. As a matter of fact, most of the time I find them enjoyable. However, for some reason, I have no interest in following these shows with any kind of regularity. However, for a cheeseburger, I’d be happy to follow along.

(Czar’s Note: My favorite one is the Sing-Off. I like all of the a capella stuff, but my favorite thing about it is something that my brother brought to my attention recently: Nick Lachey somehow fails to play himself hosting a singing competition show. It results in large amounts of unintentional comedy.)

$10-$20
 

THE BIG BANG THEORY – America’s current favorite nerds win Emmys and entertain millions. I can’t get on board. I have tried (more than once), but I don’t do nerd funny. That being said, I recognize it as a well put together show with successful lead characters. Therefore, it will only take a small amount of money per episode to get me to watch regularly. What do you say CBS?

$30-$50
 

HUNG Season 3 Premiere (2)

HUNG – I don’t watch because Hung keeps insisting that it is a comedy. I don’t appreciate being lied to, Hung. I tell you what, you give me $40 an episode, and I’ll pretend to laugh at your jokes. Hmmmm… Seems like we may have more in common than I originally presumed.

$75-$100
 

RINGER – Through the magic of the CW, Ringer just got picked up for a full season. After watching the first few episodes, I can see why.

(thinking…)

(thinking…)

I got nothing. The ridiculous plotlines, bad green screen work, and handcuffing of Sarah Michelle Gellar make for a boring, lifeless show. Gellar is at her best when she is displaying some of her classic, BUFFY sardonic wit. Here, Gellar vacillates between overly dramatic and ice cold. Not her strong suits. This show is pretty bad, but it could be a lot worse. Therefore, they could probably get me to stop by for $100. That’s getting off a lot cheaper than our next show.

$300-$500
 

THE PLAYBOY CLUB – Whoops, too late here. Don’t worry, I have another NBC show that fits the bill.

WHITNEY – I don’t want to pile on here. (Really, it’s okay? You sure? Fine, you’ve twisted my arm.) The only thing that is less funny than this “comedy” is the fact that Bob Greenblatt and the higher-ups at NBC decided to subject the world to a second season of Whitney. Cummings tries hard, and isn’t awful, but this show has the worst supporting cast in television. While trying to come off as funny, the group just comes off as a group of mean, angry people that no one would ever spend any time with. Seriously Bob, the compromising photos that Whitney Cummings has of you can’t be that bad.

What do you think? How much would it take for you to watch some of these shows? Are there other shows that would have to pay you watch them? Let’s hash it out in the comments below or on Twitter.

See you soon.

The TV Czar