GOSSIP GIRL “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan” Review

GOSSIP GIRL “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan” Season 5 Episode 4 – Thanks to the fastest publishing turnover rate ever, only a week or so after Dan decided to acknowledge his book as his own work, it’s time to release it to the public, but as we learn in “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan,” this week’s Gossip Girl, he probably should have just kept it anonymous.

Rather than have his closest friends and family find out that he fictionalized their lives at the same time as the general public, Dan summons everyone to Casa de van der Woodsen for the big reveal. Much to his relief, his father and Serena take the news in stride. Blair decides that in the interest of friendship, she just won’t read it. Nate’s only concern upon finding out that the character based on him is gay is whether or not he still has game. And Chuck finds the whole thing mildly amusing.

But the calm before the storm quickly passes as everyone starts actually reading the book. Serena’s job is threatened when a major movie deal goes south after she’s connected to the selfish, party girl character in the book. I found this really hard to swallow. I don’t know much about Daniel Day Lewis, but if he expects every minor PA who works on his movies to have the background of a nun, then he really shouldn’t be working in Hollywood. Still, Serena is understandably pissed, but more than that, she’s hurt that Dan, once her champion, has passed literary judgement on her past. And that I find much more believable.

Blair’s impending marriage is threatened when Louis reads that the Dan and Blair characters in the book had sex. In real life, nothing happened but a kiss (so she claims), but Louis starts to wonder if his future princess has too many skeletons in her closet. After she delivered an ultimatum (trust me or lose me), Louis lets it go…or at least lets Blair think he let it go. But when lying in bed with her later, it didn’t seem like Louis had forgotten anything.

Nate is pissed when he discovers that his character has been combined with Eric’s; he doesn’t even warrant a separate character of his own? Chuck is heart-breakingly torn up at the thought that a lonely death such as the one his character suffers might actually be in his future. Now that he’s lost Blair, all he has is his dog. It was nice seeing Lily mothering him, reminding him that he’s not alone.

But Dan’s worst crime was what he wrote about Rufus, the man who gave up everything to raise him. For all of Dan’s claims that he was hardest on himself, I think he was the most unfair to his own father.

So, everyone hates Dan, but at least one of his former friends will have to talk to him; to make up for losing the movie deal over her portrayal in someone else’s work of fiction (um…still bothered by that one), Serena’s boss demands that she secure the movie rights to Dan’s book if she wants to keep her job. At this point, if he ever wants to have Jitney sex with Serena ever again, he better give her whatever she wants.

During all of this, Ivy/Charlie’s lost phone comes back to haunt her in a big way. When she steals it back from Diana’s office after Nate unknowingly tells her that he’s looking for the mysterious Ivy, Diana tricks the girl into revealing her secret identity and blackmails her into joining the magazine staff, presumably to get all the dirt on Manhattan’s elite that Nate is too nice of a guy to dig up.

This episode felt inevitable, like it was building up from the moment we found out Dan was writing a book. The fall-out was as expected all around without any major surprises. Just like last week, the highlight of the night was Blair and Chuck’s scene in the park; as was suggested by a commenter last week, I so want Blair to have lied to him about the baby and for it to wind up being his. Are you listening, Gossip Girl writers? The people have spoken and we’re all about Blair and Chuck.

What did you think of the episode? Did Dan really expect his friends to love the book? Will Louis call off the wedding or go through with it for the baby? Let me know below!