GOSSIP GIRL “The Jewel of Denial” Review

GOSSIP GIRL “The Jewel of Denial” Season 5 Episode 3 – Well, color me shocked! In “The Jewel of Denial,” only the third episode of this season of Gossip Girl, we got the answer to a question that I figured we’d be wondering about until at least Christmas hiatus. Who is the father of Blair’s baby?

We’ll get to that eventually. Like Blair, I’m a procrastinator.

There was a fashion show this week which meant a lot of pretty dresses (Blair’s especially). Serena’s mom got released from house arrest. Charlie/Ivy realized that she has just as much dirt over her fake mommy’s head as Carol has over her, giving her leverage to stay in New York and even to move into Casa de van der Woodsen. But she also had her phone taken by Nate and Diana; her secrets are on the brink of full disclosure.

Dan finally decided to stop being a wuss and claimed authorship of his book when his mentor threatened to publish it under his own name. Nate went further down the rabbit-hole by at first unwittingly and then knowingly creating scandal for Diana’s newspaper. While I commend him for leaving his friends’ phones alone, it says something that he was more than willing to dig up dirt on everyone else in Manhattan.

And then there’s Chuck. Oh, Chuck. Not even a sweet puppy dog could kick-start his feelings. No, it took a much bigger emotional blow to crack through his psychosis.

In a twist of fate (or a mistake on the part of the writers) Chuck is not the father of Blair’s baby, a fact which she felt compelled to tell him as soon as she was able to look at the results of her test.

All right, so was I the only one who had to Google “how early can paternity be established?” to figure out if it was even possible for Blair to get those results before she even shows a bump? As it turns out, there are two methods that are feasible this early into pregnancy, but they’re both dangerous and insanely expensive. I guess both the money and the risk were worth it.

At least we have an answer. Blair and Louis are going to be royal parents. And while we’re on the subject of royalty, why isn’t Blair being stalked by paparazzi? She’s marrying a prince, but she was out on the streets, discussing her paternity test with Dan, and not a single photographer snapped a picture of her or tried to invade her privacy? I feel that somewhere in England, the Duchess of Cornwall is calling bull on that.

By the way, Blair, I would burn that letter from your OB/GYN. Have you learned nothing after five years? It will come back to haunt you.

I have a request, Gossip Girl, and it calls for many more scenes with Blair and Chuck. There’s something about them being together on screen. Everything seems more interesting. Don’t let the best pairing on your show die off. ‘Cause it seems like you might not find something better to replace it.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Will everyone hate Dan when the book comes out? Was it weird to see Chuck Bass crying with his dog? Let me know below!!