THE X FACTOR UK “Results Show 2” Review – Results night

THE X FACTOR UK “Results Show 2” Season 8 – Results night! The performances you’ve all been waiting for – Matt Cardle and his hat will take the stage, as will Cee Lo Green though I don’t think he’s singing with Gwyneth Paltrow which sounds distinctly less exciting. And of course there’s the brilliant group routines which are always the highlight of any results show.

Wait…egads! No group numbers? What are the producers trying to do to us? Fix this next week!

Matt Cardle sings a song written by Gary Barlow. During his performance I quickly have to Youtube a Take That song just to remind myself why Gary is on the panel. Last night I watched a documentary called Sweetgrass. It’s about sheep. It was about a hundred times more exciting than this.

Cee Lo Green sings a medley of his songs, so Forget You plus a lot of songs I’ve never heard of. There’s no Paltrow. This is problematic.

Louis is the first judge to eliminate his acts. He’s going to eliminate Jonjo, isn’t he? Louis saves Sami, then Kitty, then Johnny. Jonjo is out. Shocking. At least he has the army, which he loves so much he abandoned to make a career on The X Factor.

Then Gary saves Markus, Craig and Fankie which means that the other guy is out. Who is that? Is he an audience member they shoved onstage? Please don’t tell me he actually performed last night.

Tulisa saves Rhythmix and The Risk, which leaves a toss up between 2 Shoes and Nu Vibe. Uh….she keeps Nu Vibe, who’re insanely annoying and 2 Shoes leave. I’m thoroughly disappointed.

Kelly saves Janet and Miss Mischa B. Between Amelia and…the other one…er…oh yes Sophie. Surprisingly, she picks Amelia. I think it’s the hair. She should’ve kept it blonde. Kelly says she’s going to be a star. Amelia looks doubtful. Ameila runs offstage wordlessly while Kelly trots on after her. Don’t despair Amelia! You could always become

And so that’s that. My tally for the night: ¾. Farewell Jonjo, Amelia, 2 Shoes (sniff) and James. Hmm…next week with the public vote back in place the results will become even less predictable.

What do you think of the eliminations? Sound off in the comments below.

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