ENTOURAGE “The End” Review

ENTOURAGE Season 8 Episode 8:

When is The End not The End? When you’re looking for a feature film finale, that’s when.

And that’s not to say I didn’t like the episode. Parts I liked, parts I did not. Parts made me feel like this was the best episode of the season, parts made me think it was the worst. Entourage, Doug Ellin and Mark Wahlberg’s creation, was destined for this. We knew they wouldn’t put any sort of definitive end stamp on it because of the movie rumors floating around. Yet they couldn’t just leave everything hanging, could they?

Well, they sort of did, but what else can one expect of a show about life? Life doesn’t end, and neither does the show.

I have to say—without the “Ari Ending” this finale would have been a hell of a lot worse. (If you did not stay to the end of the final credits, as Led Zeppelin’s “Goin’ to California” played ironically in the background, then you probably missed the best part of the show.) Ari completely losing his nuts over his horrible wife (a fortysomething woman the show kept insisting on dressing up like a 23-year old) was much too sickening and saccharine sweet for an ending, so that phone call at least gave us a glimpse into the Ari we love.

You know, the one who still has some freaking drive.

And at least it assures us we won’t be beholden to a “Vince’s Wedding” movie, since that scene took place after the wedding. I doubt they’d time-travel just to show us a Paris wedding.

I’m extremely disappointed we had Roddy McDowell threatening to come after E with a gun and then never saw him again. That’s basically the very definition of anticlimactic. And my hate for Sloan is still strong (though the Project Runway fan / closet fashion maven in me loved how she looked on the tarmac in that gorgeous Malibu sunset-orange dress) (Sloan should only be seen, not heard) … and so I’m not entirely happy they set it up like she and Eric were definitely getting back together. You can’t say it’s not headed there, the way she was come-hither grinning.

So basically Johnny Drama swore on his career for no reason, as apparently E sleeping with Melinda meant absolutely nothing in the end.

Wait, did I say “The End?” Clearly it’s not.

I do have to say the dialogue for this Entourage quasi-finale was excellent. Some of the best lines all season erupted here:

“If E has a boy it’ll be like two men and two little men.”

“Lloyd terrifies me.”

“You’ll always be the gay son I never wanted.”

“Who’s the broad?” “It’s his wife, you jerkoff.”

(I love Drama.)

So in the end (that’s not The End), there’s nothing more Entourage than a last-second jaunt to Paris. The only part of that equation that’s new is the wedding part.

I guess everyone grows up eventually. Even Vincent Chase.

(I give the marriage a year. Tops.)

Farewell, boys. See you at the movies.

If you want me to grow up, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker! I’ll consider you all to be the gay sons I never wanted.