HELL’S KITCHEN “9 Chefs Compete” Review

HELL'S KITCHEN 9 Chefs Compete Season 9 Episode 9

HELL’S KITCHEN “9 Chefs Compete” Season 9 Episode 9 – You knew it was going to happen, didn’t you? From the editing, forced narrative, the implausible breakup of season nine’s most contentious contestants, there was no way Ramsay would send Elise and Carrie packing. I understand why he did this-it’s the same reason why, a billion years ago on The X Factor UK, Simon Cowell chose to save the tone deaf duo Jedward and send the moderately talented Lucie Jones packing. Ratings. It’s completely logical, but it’s so calculated and manipulated that it feels unfair. Not even the editing managed to skewer this episode in a way that made Jamie look terrible: they kept cutting to her running up and down her side of the kitchen. Sure, she was sweating and pouting, but aren’t the rest of them also sweating and pouting? Overlaying it with a track of Jennifer saying “Jamie just wasn’t in the zone tonight” hardly explains why Carrie and Elise weren’t sent packing, especially when they were sent out by their own team.

The main problem with this cooking show is not the fact that without Carrie and Elise there would be nothing to hold the attention of the audience: the main problem is that because the audience knows Ramsay is not going to get rid of either titan, others will have to suffer. So don’t get close to any of the ladies on the red team, because they’re about to be shown the door: I’m putting my money on Elizabeth heading out the door next, for the same contrived reason as Jamie’s elimination, but really, what the hell do I care?

The challenge of the week saw the contestants making desserts for world class dessert chefs. One after another their dishes are tried and tasted: most of them are laughed off. In the end, Jennifer rescues a win for the red team overleaping the blue team with an astounding six points. The prize is the best one yet: a trip to Las Vegas and a night’s stay in Caesar’s Palace in a villa. There’s a playboy pair of boobs which I’m pretty certain would have entertained the blue team far more than it entertained the red team. For a while I didn’t understand what they were all so excited about: was that woman with the artificial breasts storing a year’s supply of chocolate in those silicon containers strapped to her chest? Why else would one be excited to see someone with such a potential casket of wealth if not for chocolate? But I’m getting away with myself.

The blue team, as has become the almost unbroken routine, wins the dinner service after putting their frustration into their work. Tommy is the only one on that team who is bringing them down, but after Ramsay’s proclamation that Natalie was on her last legs, I would be worried for anyone rooting for Natalie. Not that there are any Natalie fans out there. Or Will fans or Elizabeth fans or Elise fans. You can’t be a fan of someone: you can only be a fan of migraines and hope that Elise and Carrie continue with their cattiness.

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