THE PROTECTOR “Affairs” Review

THE PROTECTOR “Affairs” Season 1, Episode 9 — I really want to like The Protector, but an episode like “Affairs” makes me wonder just what is the driving force behind the show? I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m a woman on a mission. Because there’s just got to be more to the premise than just two female detectives solving crimes. Right?

This week, Gloria and Michelle investigate the murder of a young woman who had a thing for cops. A so-called “badge bunny,” the victim was last seen in a bar full of cops, which immediately puts the detectives on red alert. No one wants to get internal affairs involved, but if we know anything about IA from pop culture, they are sneaky, sneaky bastards who live for the day when they can bust an innocent cop.

All leads seem to point to a cop as the killer, however, in particular, Detective Van Stone, with whom Gloria has butted heads in the past. Turns out he was a very good friend of the badge bunny, a fact that didn’t escape his wife, who threatened to kill the little home-wrecker. When the girl shows up dead and the bat used to kill her is found in the family’s minivan, it seems pretty clear that either the cheater or the cheated-upon ended the affair…permanently.

But murders on TV are rarely so straight forward. In a not-quite-believable twist, the killer turns out to be an ex-con busted by Van Stone for a crime he didn’t commit. After all, revenge is best served by beating the crap out of an innocent woman and framing the one who wronged you for her murder, no matter how far-fetched that might seem in the real world.

Maybe I just wanted to see some consequences for some of the character’s actions. Lying on the stand is huge; it gets you several years behind bars, not hugs from your Lieutenant. I want The Protector to be bolder than it seems to be right now…I want to see some protecting!!! But I also understand that it’s on Lifetime. Television for women. Am I expecting too much to want moral ambiguity and emotional gravitas?

At least there’s still Davey, even if he did go from rocking with a band in a nightclub to playing sexy handyman to a bunch of bored housewives. That’s what we call a step down, my friend. Doesn’t matter if they give you pie. And Michelle decided to make things official with her major crimes boyfriend, even as Romeo started showing a keen interest in becoming the cub to her cougar. Still no personal life in slight for Gloria, thought and there might never be as long as she stays at home, organizing closets and singing Katy Perry songs.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? At what point in a relationship can you officially call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend? Banana creme or berry or both? Let me know below!!