AMERICAN IDOL “Top 3 Perform” Review

American Idol 2011 Top 3

AMERICAN IDOL “Top 3 Perform” Season 10 Episode 36 – Axey back, here to assert his rightful place atop the Idol hierarchy of—

What the HELL! Who voted James Durbin off the island?!

Sandie! You’ll pay for this!

(I’m just kidding. Sandie was just as shocked as I was. I’m going to do the American thing and blame Britain.)

So we were basically left with two country singers and Haley Reinhart. See, back in the Olde Days (last year) this never would have happened. Because Simon Cowell hated country music. He usually nipped country singers in the bud. And while I’m actually sort of thrilled to see a genre rise up and extend a middle finger to the departed Cowell (not because I dislike him—I just really like middle fingers) …

… I really can’t stand a lot of country music. Like back-to-back-to-back country music songs all start to blend together in my brain. Don’t get me wrong, I can swing with Garth Brooks’ “The Thunder Rolls,” or Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” … Hell, I even own a Trisha Yearwood album. But overall it’s really not my thing.

So you can imagine my thrill when we kicked off the show with two exceedingly boring renditions of exceedingly boring country songs. Which the judges fawned over. I was close to throwing things at the TV.

And then of course Reinhart happened. She gave me hope…

Haley Reinhart: 27
Song: What Is & What Should Never Be (Led Zeppelin)
Performance: 5 Originality: 5 Stage Presence: 4 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 5
Notes: Zeppelin? Zeppelin!? The little child in me said, “OMG R U FN KIDIN ME,” though not precisely spelled that way, since I actually spelled things normally as a kid. Haley’s face plant was actually kind of cool. Extra points for the fact that her dad can wail. I like the fact that she wasn’t shy about gathering the rock crowd to her feet. It was like she glanced down and said, “Oh, Mr. Durban, look what you dropped,” and ran off with the RAWK. After her kickass performance I was pretty damned hopeful that the show could be saved from there.

Alas.

Scotty McCreery: 25
Song: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not (Thompson Square)
Performance: 4 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 5 Appearance: 3 Marketability: 5 Intangibles: 5
Notes: This one was a winner. I could imagine this in concert (and it probably will be on the Idol tour). It probably got Scotty into the finals.

Scotty McCreery: 23
Song: She Believes In Me (Kenny Rogers)
Performance: 4 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 5
Notes: I think we’ll see Scotty in the finals.

Lauren Alaina: 22
Song: If I Die Young (Perry)
Performance: 3 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 5 Intangibles: 4
Notes: “Got caught up in the honesty” = missed her key change. Got it. Kind of messed up here best song was the one she screwed up the most in.

Haley Reinhart: 21
Song: Rhiannon (Fleetwood Mac)
Performance: 3 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 4
Notes: Jimmy Iovine’s choice was probably the worst stage song you could conceive. I mean, it’s even just an average radio song. Rhiannon is best experienced sitting on a bean bag with a bottle of 151 in your lap. Or something illegal. Not that I would ever endorse that.

Lauren Alaina: 21
Song: I Hope You Dance (Le-Ann Rimes)
Performance: 4 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 4
Notes: I somehow can’t help but feel this was a message from the judges: “Go be yourself and have fun.” Because this chick is just way too nervous.

Scotty McCreery: 20
Song: Amazed (Lonestar)
Performance: 3 Originality: 2 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 3 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 5
Notes: Judges loved this dull song. Shocking, I know. I grade intangibles partly based on how gullible I think America might be in getting fooled into liking something they shouldn’t.

Lauren Alaina: 20
Song: Wild One (Faith Hill)
Performance: 2 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 5
Notes: Ouch.

Haley Reinhart: 20
Song: You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)
Performance: 4 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 4 Appearance: 3 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 3
Notes: Kind of a weak ending in my view. The low portions of the song were not in her range at all. I want to say Haley was basically torpedoed by the judges (this AND Iovine’s disastrous choice were not in Reinhart’s hands), except it doesn’t make sense to have an all-country finale.

Unless they’re purposefully all-together-now giving Simon Cowell the finger.

It’s possible.

Tomorrow on American Idol: Results! Hometown visits! Lots of tears!

Country music fans! Y’all follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker, y’hear?