THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER “Deeper And Deeper” Season 3 Episode 19 – Yes, so the title of this episode sounds like a 1970s porno film, and if you were listening to this episode and not watching you might think it’s a conservative X-rated flick what with all of the times people are talking about having sex or not having sex, after marriage, before marriage, living in sin, yada yada yada. Alas, it’s not.

The entire season of this show could be compressed easily into what might well be an entertaining if overly preachy forty minutes of television. But it’s not. Brenda Hampton, the creator of the utter piece of crap, has stretched a passable forty minutes of television into nineteen episodes where there are so many characters all juggling the same storylines: to sleep with, or not to sleep with. Of course they only do the former after episodes of, well, one could hardly call it titillation, more like lame, implausible delay of self-examination and then, the dreadful but necessary for some reason in the universe of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, asking the parents’ permission. This might be an interesting show if they focussed in on the utter lack of communication that goes on between parents and their children, especially regarding sex. It could be funny, bleak, harmonious, bittersweet. It’s not. It’s just really really really bad.

So Grace and Grant have sex (off camera). They talk about how good it felt to wait four months, with her mother’s permission (yuck) and blessing (ick). Amy manipulates Ricky into inviting her to live with him while their child plays on the ground in front of them. The character of Amy is such a doormat: she’s a 1950s housewife in a submissive 21st century role, bringing her baby daddy meals, agreeing not to marry him because he doesn’t want to get married, manipulating him into inviting her to live with him. Every time I think of her that Ludacris song pops into my mind. Ricky obviously does not love Amy: he may be fond of her because she’s the mother of his child, but he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her. So Amy, stop literally (see last week’s cringe-worthy pseudo-seductive scene) throwing yourself at his feet and move bitch, get out da way.

Oh, and Ben and Adrian got a condo, Ashley got a friend, and Madison got nothing. Yawn.

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