NURSE JACKIE “Rat Falls” Review

NURSE JACKIE “Rat Falls” Season 3 Episode 5 – This one advanced the plot in a strange way. Instead of carrying the story of Jackie’s family relations forward, it progressed in her drug habit further by having Jackie (still-great Edie Falco) enter the drug-buying world, purchasing six of those sweet little blue pills from epileptic Bill (a sublimely slimy Bill Sage)—the same dude she robbed last season while he was having an epileptic seizure. And I have two thoughts on this:

1. How messed up is it? It’s real messed up. She’s almost raising the white flag to her addiction, going down this road. And he says, “I’m rooting for you, Jackie.” Creepy-good.

2. Jackie gave that dude $200.00. I hope $200.00 buys a steady flow of those little blue bastards and not just the six he had packed away in that sobriety coin (el oh el) box. Jackie’s gonna run out of money before she knows it if that’s the case. She runs through like… six per day.

In fact, Jackie’s family wasn’t glimpsed at all today. It was all-hospital, all the time.

And you can’t dislike Jackie. Even with the cheating, even with the lying, the manipulating (the bulldozer-ing). She’s got too good a heart, evidenced by how she helps her patients. But damn is she good at her way through life. Eddie was right when he said, a few episodes back, “You’re an amazing F***ing liar. World class. Genius.” It’s so true; she gives us evidence of that every day, whether using her Super Powers for good or evil.

She doesn’t like being hugged, which makes it funnier when she is. I’m amazed she even likes being touched at all (which makes her affair even funnier—even though, yes, it wasn’t about sex for her at all).

Zoey (Merritt Wever) wasn’t much of a focus this episode, but her reaction to the falling rat (ergo “Rat Falls”) was screamingly good. I’m curious if they didn’t method-act that scene and just drop it on her out of nowhere.

Jackie snatched it up and saved the day, of course. I’m more amazed at the fact that sucker went down the toilet with one flush than the fact that she carried it there. If my toilet was half that competent, I’d be in seventh heave–

TMI? Troo nuff.


The scene with Dr. Fitch “Coop” Cooper (a spot-on Peter Facinelli) in which his lesbian moms break the news of their impending divorce to him was classic. The moms (an inspirational casting of Judith Light and Swoozie Kurtz) had damned good chemistry—especially for two people on the split.

“How straight is she?” Coop hit the nail on the head. I love it that he’s usually only right about something when it’s a disadvantage for him to be right.

Other Nurse Jackie lines that gave my gut a chortle:

O’Hara (Eve Best) to Coop: “Surely any woman who has been under you has needed coping skills.”

Eddie (Paul Schulze) looking Jackie over…
Jackie: “What?”
Eddie: “I’m seeing if you have a leg to stand on.”

Zoey: “Cantasha. Candice and Nastasha.”

Akilitus (Anna Deavere Smith) to Jackie: “Have you ever stolen anything?”
Jackie: “Yes, many times.”

A horrified Thor (Stephen Wallem) to Jackie: “You talked to me like… like I was Zoey.”

A fate worse than death.

If being treated like Zoey is not a fate worse than death for you, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker, you nards! I’ll treat you like Zoey!