AMERICAN IDOL “Top 7 Results” Review

American Idol Top 6

AMERICAN IDOL “Top 7 Results” Season 10 Episode 29 – Stefano always looks as though he expects to go; he’s nearly jumping out of shoes with the expectation. Well this time he finally got his (wish?) fate handed to him, and I can’t say it was deserved this time around.

I was rooting hard for Scottie to go home. Or to at least be in the bottom three. That kid needs a wakeup call. If he continues to “stand pat” and wins Idol, I’ll be looking to sling mud. I suppose I can take refuge in the fact that even though Scotty has been boring these last few shows, he’s not an idiot; he knows what his audience wants and plus—hey, he gave Tommy Lasorda his props. That’s good baseball knowledge, kid.

Haley didn’t deserve bottom three at all. I’m glad they yanked her immediately back to safety. I re-watched yesterdays performances, just to make sure I wasn’t stoned on hyperbole, and I can now say with smirking self-satisfaction that yes, that was one of the best episodes ever. Haley crushed it. James brought it to a whole new level. And Casey’s performance was like…

That was like Maroon 5 needs to pack up and start over. They got owned.

Of course today’s results show was nothing to write home about. It was a results show. We began with a Train fail (or Train Wreck) (Hah!) (thanks for nothing, Lauren, Haley, Stefano, Jacob), with “Hey Soul Sister” never sounding quite so bad. And don’t get me started with the whole hands waving thing. Then Casey, Scotty, and James were nearly as bad with Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida.”

They played clips of the kids hitting a Dodgers game… Haley beating Scotty at bowling… facials and manicures… and the wacky hijinks that ensued!

(Yeah, I know.)

We had the requisite dull Ford commercial. This one was so bad I may announce a moratorium on even mentioning Ford from now on. Like I’ll mention they did a video for a car and then (BLEEP) then name of the company.

Keep y’all guessing.

David Cook showed up and performed his new single “The Last Goodbye” from his upcoming album This Loud Morning. The song was good, though the performance could have been tighter. David was also there to promote The May 1st RACE FOR HOPE DC, a 5k walk-run to benefit brain cancer research (David’s brother Adam died of the disease in May of 2009). Say what you will about Cook (he has both loud fans and loud detractors), but that dude fights the good fight. Keep on keepin’ on, bro.

Katy Perry “performed” her hit single “E.T.” And by “performed” I mean “lip synched while being wheeled around inside some sort of neon-lit gyroscope thing while dancers in disturbing looking skin-tight alien costumes cavorted about.” And then Kanye West showed up. I was hoping for a “Kanye Moment” and didn’t get one. I don’t think he was lip synching. Or maybe he was. I thought only Prince was able to lip-synch on American Idol? What is this, Saturday Night Live?

Anyway, not much else to say. Stefano went. He sang his way out, and then almost got killed when a bawling James rushed the stage and tackled him. I’m guessing there’s about an 80 lb. weight difference there. That’s when I finally felt sorry for Stefano.

Next week: And Then There Were Six. Performing the music of … someone. I can’t remember.

It wasn’t a spectacular name. Good luck, kiddies.

If you are also not spectacular, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker!