EAGLEHEART “Once In A Wattle” Review

EAGLEHEART Master of Da' Skies

EAGLEHEART “Once In A Wattle” Episode 10 – In tonight’s episode of Eagleheart, Chris Monsanto goes into Level Alpha Deep Cover for Operation: Old Man Monsanto.

After a number of senior citizens mysteriously disappear, Chris is assigned the task of going deep under cover to see if he can unravel the case. Of course, in the Eagleheart world, going deep under cover isn’t just a matter of intense makeup and incredible prosthetics. No, Monsanto has to go deep under general anesthesia to get the Level Alpha Deep Cover disguise for this case. In a gruesome scene where Chris is cut open like a game of Operation, the surgeon explains that they’re weakening his bladder, limiting oxygen to his lungs and making his bones brittle so that Chris can blend in with the other seniors at the center. Of course, this is all internal work, and the kicker is that the only thing they’re doing to his outward appearance is throwing on a ridiculous white wig over his ridiculous blonde wig.

The seniors all seem to buy his white wig disguise, and Chris, who has been sleeping at crime scenes to avoid paying rent, is happy enough to have a bed to sleep in at the senior center. He ends up having a great time with his new group of octogenarian friends and they’re quickly lured underground by the classic sound of a big band – which Chris thinks is Kevin Eubank’s latest album.

Once inside the underground studio, they see a room full of other elderly people being used for sound effects when suddenly Mickey Rooney pops on screen. Rooney’s video is hilarious as he rattles through the introductory video of “You and Your Wattle” and I love his bizarre noises and the faces he makes as he is explaining the use of the wattle. The video then cuts to another man making various sound effects using grunts to match the pictures of a lion, frog and a toilet. Bud, one of Chris’ senior buddies, is suspicious of the whole situation, but because Chris sees an opportunity for a free place to stay, he’s in no rush to leave – until he realizes he’ll have to share a bathroom.

Apparently Chris has no problem sleeping in a blood splattered room, but sharing a toilet, is crossing the line, so he’s motivated to immediately put an end to this case with an Apocalypse Now inspired finale. The final monologue as Chris creeps in with a machete was great and I loved the cutting between the conductor’s assassination and the bagel guillotine slicing a bagel in the glowing red recording studio. It was completely absurd and exactly what I’d expect if Eagleheart was to re-imagine Apocalypse Now. Once back at headquarters, Chris is commended for a job well done and is rewarded by getting first dibs on a crime scene with a king sized bed. I think I would have stuck with the shared toilet.

I kind of missed having Brett and Susie fully involved in this episode, but there was plenty of strange humor even without them and overall, it was another good episode of Eagleheart.