AMERICAN IDOL (2011) “Top 12 Perform” Review

Thia Megia performs on AMERICAN IDOL top 12

AMERICAN IDOL (2011) “Top 12 Perform” Season 10 Episode 18 – At least Idol did the right thing in offering up tonight’s iTunes-ready performances to the Red Cross for donations. If only there was a song I wanted to buy.

I think the judges were stoned when they praised this week as being better than last. My scoring (subjective as it is) there was an average of a 2-point drop with this week’s crop of song attempts. The only person who immensely improved was Lauren Alaina, and she was so bad last week the only place to go (much like J-Lo’s Farrah Fawcett-inspired hair) was up.

(Okay, Lopez’s hair also went out. Up, out, sideways… you name it, her hair was there.)

But enough foreplay. Y’all want to hear my scores and rankings. This was the typical American Idol “Do A Song From The Year You Were Born” episode. (How wrong is it that a Duran Duran song would have been too old?) So without further ado…

Stefano Langone: 23

Song: If You Don’t Know Me By Now (Simply Red)

Performance: 4 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 4 
Appearance: 3 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 4

Notes: And to think we almost got Milli Vanilli. Or “Hangin’ Tuff.” L:angone has a sense of humor?! Who knew? All I know is he was on key and working that stage and that crowd and those judges. My early-season top pick more-than safe this week.

Casey Abrams: 22

Song: Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

Performance: 3 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 4 
Appearance: 3 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 5

Notes: Dude literally appears to be insane, but it works for him. Trust me, it will help. We thought Taylor Hicks was insane too, remember? And he won the whole damned thing. I give him the “5” on intangibles because he just appears to be untouchable right now. Big fan base that’s getting bigger.

Scotty McCreery: 22

Song: Can I trust You With My Heart (Travis Tritt)

Performance: 4 Originality: 2 Stage Presence: 4 
Appearance: 4 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 4

Notes: No real change with Scotty “Steady Eddie” McCreery. And I don’t expect much to change. He could win the whole enchilada if Abrams screws up somehow. Or…

James Durbin: 21

Song: I’ll Be There For You (Bon Jovi)

Performance: 3 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 4 
Appearance: 4 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 4

Notes: Dude looks exactly like his baby pictures. Pretty funny. I actually want to give him a 4.5 on intangibles since he basically called his shot, predicting he’d do an Aerosmith song in the finals. With Steven Tyler. Pretty ballsy. America could either love him for it or hate him… but hey, they love Babe Ruth. Go big, young fella! Oh, the song? Kind of average. But whatever.

Lauren Alaina: 21

Song: I’m The Only One (Melissa Etheridge)

Performance: 4 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 3 
Appearance: 3 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 3

Notes: Better than last week to be sure. They need to have her come down with the flu more often.

Jacob Lusk: 21

Song: Alone (Heart)

Performance: 3 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 3 
Appearance: 4 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 3

Notes: That “Lusky Stank” was good in theory, though he really lost his way a few times. I could see him tightening that performance up, doing it on tour (or on an album) and really nailing it though. And let’s be real: Jacob is the best dresser this competition has. Should not be going home after tonight.

Pia Toscano: 20

Song: Where Do The Broken Hearts Go (Whitney Houston)

Performance: 3 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3
 Appearance: 3 Marketability: 4 Intangibles: 4

Notes: There needs to be a moratorium on Whitney Houston songs. Seriously. Pia sang it well enough (of course), but it felt out of synch with the band. Like neither had practiced together. So Pia dropped an overall 2 points in my estimation, but she’s still safe.

Karen Rodriguez: 19

Song: Love Will Lead You Back (Taylor Dayne)

Performance: 3 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 
3 Appearance: 4 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 3

Notes: I thought she was going to go all-English just to prove a point, but no. Oh well. I thought the beginning was a little rough, and in the middle she shone, but the end was just strange. As Tyler said, “Your ethnic what-it-isness” may keep her around… but not for much longer.

Paul McDonald: 19

Song: That’s Why They Call It The Blues (Elton John)

Performance: 2 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 2 
Appearance: 3 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 4

Notes: This horrible butchering of one of my favorite Elton John songs would have—should have—gotten lower marks, save for that dreaded “intangibles” where I have to take into account his fan base and general likability. Because that was horrible. I get that his voice is unique, but so is Gilbert Gottfried. Neither have much range. And he needs to stop flailing onstage like a puppet whose strings have just been cut.

Haley Reinhart: 18

Song: I’m Your Baby Tonight (Whitney Houston)

Performance: 3 Originality: 4 Stage Presence: 
3 Appearance: 2 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 3

Notes: Lipstick malfunction! And a weaker performance than last week. Interesting in a Haley Reinhart sort of way, but … Is she safe? We’ll see. She could wind up in the bottom 3.

Naima Adedapo: 17

Song: What’s Love Got To Do With It (Tina Turner)

Performance: 2 Originality: 3 Stage Presence: 3 
Appearance: 2 Marketability: 3 Intangibles: 4

Notes: This is the worst she’s been. Have we just not realized until now that Naima has no real range? Yikes. Bottom 3 guaranteed—and might be going home. That is if she isn’t beaten out the door by…

Thia Megia: 15

Song: The Colors of the Wind (Vanessa Williams)

Performance: 3 Originality: 2 Stage Presence: 3 
Appearance: 3 Marketability: 2 Intangibles: 2

Notes: Boring. If Simon were here he would have had this girl in tears. “Pageant performance” indeed. Simon would have ripped her a new one. It looked and sounded like something I would see tuning into a food drive for starving and homeless people. Even her dress was dull. She may have a large Pan-American following, but they should use this moment wisely and refrain from voting for one week. One is all we ask. Then we could say farewell to the Thia Pet.

So my bottom three are AGAIN women. Or girls. Feeeee-males. I certainly don’t see a boy going home. No chance.

But we’ll see tomorrow! I will be out of town for the next 4 days, so please treat my one-day replacement the same way you treated me: with lots of ugly heckling and hazing.

Follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker, you Lusky Stanks!