AMERICAN IDOL “Top 13 Results” Review

American Idol

AMERICAN IDOL “Top 13 Results” Season 10 Episode 17 – The one thing I suppose I should be grateful for is the fact that these results shows are still only an hour. They also usually have one or two live acts (you know, famous people) to liven up what is usually a tense night.

Well, tense if you have any favorites on the hot seat. I personally did not.

They began with the usual results show song-and-dance, which usually annoys me. It’s just not my thing, what can I say? I can’t stand Glee either. This one wasn’t as bad as the usual ones, though in seasons past they’ve been unable to hide the non-dancers (like blind Scott MacIntyre from a few seasons back), so it’s usually a mess. This year it seems as though most of the kids have some sort of theatre acumen, so while it may have come off a little Disney-ish, it at least wasn’t cringe worthy.

I did note Scotty McCreery’s mic did not work. If that was purposeful … hey, probably a good idea.

Conspicuously absent was fan-favorite Casey Abrams who, once again, was hospitalized with stomach troubles. One has to wonder what the issue is with this guy. Crystal Bowersox had a diabetes emergency last season and almost missed a performance early in the process—one that would have automatically disqualified her—but that was only a one-time thing. You have to wonder what the deal with Abrams is.

(And no, I don’t believe it’s “Heroin DT’s” as a friend of mine remarked. Come on, people. Dude’s strange—he’s not a junkie.)

The two special guests were interesting. A Glambert sighting is always good, and I liked the stripped down version of his dance song Aftermath, even if the crowd didn’t exactly know how to react.

(Aside: is there an intelligence moratorium for A.I. crowds? They don’t know not to scream and clap during a heartfelt ballad, and still do that mind-numblingly zombie-inspired “waving grass” routine when they finally decide not to howl. Like who told them that ridiculous thing is still cool? It was never cool! Freaking lemmings.)

So Adam’s song was fine. Then we had P. Diddy …

Man, I just don’t know about that guy. I guess rap does require the least amount of talent if some dude who basically made his name as a producer can just shrug his shoulders and go decide to do it himself. Not putting down rap as a whole; I can name you a truckload of skilled rappers who cut their teeth by actually rapping (Eminem, Treach, DMX, Ice Cube) rather than by producing.

At least we can be glad he’s not using that abominable Auto-Tune mechanism that the other non-talents use. I mean, forgive the rant, but wasn’t that played out back in 2007? Seriously. People, it was first used by Cher. In 1998. Frickin’ Cher! And it supposedly died a nice and quiet death until T-Pain brought it back in 2003. And for whatever reason we’ve been using the damned thing ever since. You know it’s bad when Jamie Foxx wins awards with it. Singing awards. That crap shouldn’t even count.

Anyway, P. Diddy did his Diddy thing. I suppose the song was supposed to be uplifting, but for some reason I can’t take that guy seriously. I hear his voice and all I think is “Ka-chingg!” I liked the woman he had on piano. I didn’t even recognize her at first, then I realized, “Hey, it’s Holly Brook!”

Nope, it was Skylar Grey.

… who apparently used to call herself Holly Brook. Why the hell would she change her name mid-career? You can’t do that, man! I mean, you can if you’re Prince. But if you’re gonna DO it, you need to go all out and just make it a universal symbol.

If I decided to change my name to a symbol is would be an emoticon. Or something keyboard-y.

—> D:< <--- (We here at Daemon's TV are nothing if not professional.) (What do you want from me? It was a stinkin' results show. There’s just not that much to talk about here.)

Anyway, bottom three were all women (I called that): Ashthon Jones, Haley Reinhart, and Karen Rodriguez. Jones got the boot with no last-minute save (thank heavens), and exited stage left to the tune of “Don’t You Forget About Me,” originally done in the ’80’s by Simple Minds (Breakfast Club FTW people!) and now updated and thoroughly butchered by season 7 winner David Cook. Blech.

And we’re gonna have to hear that redux at the end of every American Idol results show.


Next week: And Then There Were 12…

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