HOUSE “Two Stories” Review

HOUSE "Two Stories"

HOUSE “Two Stories” Season 7 Episode 13 – We take a trip into alternative storytelling mode as we explore all things House/Cuddy (and not much else) in the “Two Stories” episode of HOUSE. This is one episode where some of the parts are much better than the sum of the whole.

Well that was–different. I never would have expected House–I’m sorry, Dr. Hourani–to play a rousing game of Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader, but here we are, and at Career Day, no less. The movie shout-outs are fun: ‘Pulp Fiction was a surprise, and I especially like the very random ‘Thunderbolt and Lightfoot’ reference, and House not-so- subtly calling Mad Men boring and going all Dr. Who with his “Allons-y” is awesome. Not so great is how over the top this feels. House telling elementary school kids a vibrator story while the teacher and several parents just make disapproving noises? Not buying it. Also, naming the episode “Two Stories” is an unfair tease: it doesn’t come close to reaching the emotional resonance of “Three Stories.”

“You do whatever you want always… You need me, House, and you may even love me, but you don’t care about me.” Sigh. I like House and Cuddy together, but I don’t like spending an entire episode dissecting their relationship or re-treading this particular ground. Here’s the thing: I like selfish, snarky, pain in the ass House. I like cranky, take charge Cuddy. I want these characters to be their awesome selves even in a relationship. Is that so much to ask? “I’m a moron. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or think about you.” I hope we can let it go at that for a while.

Now, black-eye girl and her would-be boyfriend are adorable. She is so going to grow up to be a cottage with her take-charge attitude and I love their almost romance. In fact, I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see their first kiss. On a shallow level, there’s a terrific transition from black-eye girl to the once again underused Wilson and there is one shot of the administrative worker doing a double take at one of House’s comments that makes me giggle.

The patient of the week is essentially an afterthought, but the coughing up a lung scene is impressively disgusting and I guess sarcoidosis is the new lupus. My favorite part of this story is House’s impressions of his team. Masters’ tattling and horn dogs Chase and Taub crack me up. Unfortunately, with the noticeable absence of the team and Wilson along with the unimportance of the pea-ridden patient, this simply doesn’t feel like an episode of House to me.

Favorite lines:

“I didn’t say everybody always lies, Aristotle.”

“You’re a pathetic loser jerk and I wouldn’t kiss you if I had brain cancer and your lips were the cure.”

“So, you tried to fix your relationship by stealing her computer?”

“Looks like you’re the moron.”

“How’s that even possible?”/ “That’s what she said!”

“If porn was bad there wouldn’t be so many nuns in it”

“It would have worked, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”

“Dr. House, can I ask you a question? Are you insane or just stupid?”

Normally I love when House changes up its narrative structure, but this just feels like the show is trying too hard. It’s odd-I laughed during the episode and enjoyed a good deal of it because of that, but it still leaves me cold because I don’t feel I’ve learned anything new about the characters and I’m pretty sure I will forget the entire episode within a few days.

What did you think of “Two Stories?” Are you happy with how House/Cuddy is playing out?

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