CSI: MIAMI “Last Stand” Review

CSI: MIAMI

CSI: Miami “Last Stand” Review, Season 9 Episode 13 – This week’s episode of CSI: Miami sees the triumphant return of Memmo Fiero, AKA the guy who killed Horatio’s wife. “Last Stand” definitely didn’t start out very good, but thankfully it picked up a little bit towards the end. But man, did it start off baaaaaaaad.

First you got the soon-to-be-dead state attorney thinking the cocaine was baking powder. Really? Next we got the dying gang member telling Horatio that “It’s only just begun.” I honestly predicted that line coming from a mile away. Then since bad scenes always come in threes, we get the so-terrible-it’s-awesome scene of Horatio and Eric barging into the ex-Mala Noche member and saying “We’re just here to say ‘hello’…so hello”. Wow. That was so cheesy I honestly couldn’t see straight through the commercial break.

This episode had many more cheesy moments, too many to even name here. I feel like CSI: Miami has resigned to the fact that it’s “The Cheesy CSI”, and that they are committing to it. I mean, here’s the thing: There are professional writers responsible for writing these scripts. These guys make a lot more money than I do, and they went to school for years to learn how to do what they’re doing. They aren’t just terrible at their jobs. They know what kind of show they’re making, and they’re going for it. I applaud them for that.

Robert LaSardo has always struck me as a poor man’s Danny Trejo, and he doesn’t come off much better in his reprisal of his Memmo Fiero role. The dude just isn’t very imposing. He comes off as just a regular, run-of-the-mill gangster. He’s scrawny, funny-looking and just not very competent as a villain. Just because you got a bunch of tattoos doesn’t make you a gangster. Oh, and that scene where he’s walking all around the yacht looking for Salazar went on way too long. Is he on the left side? Nope. What about the right side? No, not there either!

I’m kind of bummed Horatio didn’t just shoot Memmo at the end. A few times this season they’ve shown Horatio going off the rails and beating suspects, or roughing up some witnesses. They seem to be really pushing his new-found craziness, so I was hoping he would just throw all caution to the wind and put a bullet in Memmo. Instead, we get another opportunity for Fiero to escape from prison and come back for another episode. Hooray…

Random Thoughts:

– Does anybody else think Ryan looks a lot like Greg from CSI? I review both shows for Daemon’s TV and every time I see either one of them I do a double-take.

– I love how everybody has the ability now on TV shows to take random news footage, freeze it, and blow up the image into a 12 megapixel picture. I blame 24.

– Is Mala Noche the preppiest gang of all time? A bunch of attractive dudes wearing bright, pastel colored shirts all hanging out in a classy townhouse. Now that’s gangster.

Let me know what you think of this episode. Leave a comment below!