THE X FACTOR UK “Live Show 7” Review

X Factor Live Show 7

THE X FACTOR “Live Show 7” – Are you ready to see The Beatles desecrated? Yes? Let’s get on with it then.

Matt-It’s time for sexy Matt. Matt looks like a trucker. This is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen in my life. He’s massacaring Come Together. Where is his shirt? Has he got a hairball shoved down his throat? He looks like a drug pusher with his tracksuit bottoms.

Cher-If you do not vote for Cher, she will kill you. She sings Imagine. I am really looking forward to the rapping in this. I think Matt may have killed the show for her. Oh no, Simon points out it was the staircase.

One Direction-You just know they’r going to win. They’re wearing freaking suits! They’re singing All You Need Is Love. The judges give their comments, but it doesn’t really matter because everyone is screaming over them.

Rebecca-As usual, she sings spectacularly. But why is she wearing a pantsuit? Hasn’t she seen Glee? Doesn’t she know they’re illegal?

Mary-she goes for the sob story again. Seriously, her daughter isn’t four years old. She refrains for bellowing the song, for the most part. Also, apparently there’s more of her to love. Shudder.

Paije- he sings Let It Be, and of course he’s brilliant…until the weirdos in straightjackets surround the judges and start clapping. Then he starts choking on the song. Well, at least he’s wearing a velvet suit.

Wagner-he sings a mash up of Hey Jude and the Hippy Hippy Shake. Of course. More interesting than his Srgt Pepper jacket were the judges comments, which would have been more interesting without the audience yapping over them. Dannii and Cheryl get bitchy. Simon asks if he’s taking this seriously. I’ve a feeling the people who got Rage Against the Machine to number 1 last Christmas are the folks voting for Wagner.

Katie-she’s come out with her hair chopped and dyed. Dannii suggest she take up acting. Simon says he loves her performance. Cheryl calls it the performance of the night. I feel so rotten for her, I cannot say anything negative.

What did you think of the night? Sound off in the comments below!

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