THE X FACTOR UK “Results Show 4” Review

X Factor Results Show 4

THE X FACTOR UK “Results Show 4”- I think the editors for The X Factor deserve an Emmy for Best Editting. Basically the formula of the show is: montage, montage, montage, singing, montage, talking, montage, singing, montage, singing, montage, results, montage. Wonderful.

Bon Jovi are the first performers (sort of) and they sing their old classic which has nothing to do with Halloween, Livin on a Prayer. Bon Jovi were once a huge band, weren’t they? Remember when Holly Willoghby called the band Jon Bon Jovi last year? Anyhoodles, Bon Jovi are singing with The X Factor finalists. The contestants for their part are clearly loving it. Dermot, tactful as always, picks out Mary and Wagner to remind everyone that Bon Jovi are (hush hush) old.

Jamiroquai is the second performer and he’s got bonjos and a really cool hat. That’s all I can remember of his performance. The judges don’t even bother standing. Cheryl glares are him. Simon looks bemused.

Rihanna is the next performer. Oh my God, it’s Dancing With The Stars! People are always criticizing her vocals, but I love her voice, especially live when it’s not robofied (yes! It is a word!) by autotune. I can’t say the same for the song. I am somehow aware that her legs are insured for like a million dollars or something (please! Salvage my dignity and dispute this!) Dermot is as tactful as always, and Rihanna somehow manages to let us know that her single is no. 1 on iTunes without sounding like a total douche.

Results time! And the nine through are Paije, Cher, Aiden, Wagner (booing: heresy!), One Direction, Matt, Rebecca (yay!), Mary and Treyc which means that Belle Amie and Katie are in the bottom two.

Belle Amie sing Breakaway, which they shouldn’t, because the song is called Breakaway. If you sing a song like that, what do you think will happen?

Katie sings Trust In Me. See, much better title. Why can’t she sing like this on performance nights? One word: Cheryl, who thinks the key to making people likable is kookiness. Blergh.

Katie has an emotional breakdown on stage. Simon votes to save Belle Amie. Cheryl sends them home, as does Danni. Louis, because he is heartless, sends Katie home, which means DEADLOCK. Ominous red lights!

The act going home is: Belle Amie. So Belle Amie are out, destined to never make our ears bleed again. They promise to remain together. Now Simon doesn’t even have to pretend to care about them.

Ten acts remain: are you disappointed with the final ten? Elated? Sound off in the comments below!

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