THE VAMPIRE DIARIES “Kill Or Be Killed” Review


THE VAMPIRE DIARIES “Kill Or Be Killed” Season 2 Episode 5 – Elena and Stefan carry on their bickering lovers charade during an event to clean up a brand new public park. Is it just me or does Mystic Falls have more town-wide team-building events than is strictly healthy? There’s the fair, this, and I won’t even count the gazillion events in season 1. Anyway. Stelena do a whole ‘if I say X it means I love you’ ‘if I say Y it means i love you‘ thing that kinda makes me reach for a sickbag. While Caroline seems to buy the act, Damon doesn’t. He has more important things to worry about, however, like Hot Uncle Lockwood wanting him dead. Stefan talks to Hot Uncle and they call a sorta-truce which really just a big bold-faced lie. He still wants Damon dead – and Stefan, too.

Pre-vamp Caroline signed up her Mama Cop for the park clean up, so she’s stuck playing happy families, much to her chagrin. But while Caroline is off working with Elena, Hot Uncle and his sole facial expression approaches Mama Cop and tells her that the Salvatores are vampires. Soon after, Damon drinks some lemonade and reacts violently with the vervain it’s been spiked with. He and Stefan assume Hot Uncle is behind it and corner him, but Mama Cop and her deputies show up and take them down with handguns. Hot Uncle helps them haul the Salvatores to his cellar/dungeon/slave quarters/changing room in the old Lockwood house foundations. Mama Cop shoots them up with vervain – and then with bullets when Damon won’t answer her questions.

Hearing what’s happening, Caroline and Elena head over to help them, but find themselves blocked by Hot Uncle. He threatens the girls, especially Elena, but Caroline says she can take him down. He’s skeptical. She proceeds to kick his ass and I promptly fall in love with her (but that’s besides the point). They get to the cellar and Caroline takes out the deputies. There’s just one problem – she uses her vampire speed and then drinks from a deputy in plain view of Mama Cop. That’s a helluva way to ‘come out’!

While Mama Cop is in shock, Damon drinks from a deputy and everyone heads home. There, Damon locks Mama Cop away in his own cellar until the vervain wears out of her own system and he can compel her to forget everything, much to her relief. But she’s disgusted by Caroline, who breaks down under the strain and confessed to Elena that she’s working for Katherine. She doesn’t want to, but Katherine threatened Matt’s life.

Dear Katherine, you are a grade A bitch.

Elena catches Stefan eyeing up some human blood bags. He tells her that he needs to be strong enough to protect her from Katherine. She’s skeptical, Damon confirms it, and she decides that if Stefan needs a little blood every day to build up a tolerance? He should drink hers. She cuts her palm, because this is clearly the smart thing to do. You would think that humans in vampire shows would cut places that are a) less conspicuous and b) wouldn’t hamper their day to day lives. A cut palm is no fun, Elena Gilbert. But then neither is a hairy one – that dirty joke taking me smoothly to…

Tyler and Jeremy. Elena tells Jeremy about the Lockwoods’ werewolf secret and also tells him not to get involved. I’m sorry, but if there was ever a person I didn’t want involved in something supernatural, it would be Elena. I’d take Jeremy in a heartbeat, but that’s most because he’s both hot and a mini-Jared Padalecki (seriously, compare photos), so there’s a chance that he’ll bulk up, kick ass and look damn fine doing it.

Sorry, anyway, Tyler invites Jeremy home for drinks and fun with two girls (one of which is Amy, the gal from ‘Bad Moon Rising’). This is a lot cleaner than it sounds, I swear. Not that I would be adverse to that kind of fun in this show, but I digress. Again. After seeing Jeremy’s werewolf sketches, Tyler confronts him. They talk and Tyler produces the moonstone – which the girls make off with. While trying to get it back, one girl falls down the stairs and for a few seconds they think she’s dead.

Tyler gives his Hot Uncle the moonstone later that day and admits that for a split-second, he wished the girl had died, so he could become a werewolf. Hot Uncle is just glad to have the moonstone, and leaves. We see a flashback to his own curse being triggered; he fought with a friend, who fell, hit his head and died. We see Hot Uncle’s girlfriend from back then and apparently right now, too. It’s none other than Katherine – and she’s happy to get the moonstone back.

I liked most of this episode. I’ll get to my issues with it in a second, but first: the Salvatores. Stefan is starting to act a lot more like Damon, who, in turn, is mellowing out a lot. There’s a slow but steady role reversal at work here, and I like it. I loved Stefan facing off with Hot Uncle almost as much as I loved Damon asking Caroline why she was being so hard on her mother. The more issues these boys have, the more fun they get.

Hot Uncle stretched his one facial expression to breaking point today, barely showing a hint of emotion even when his voice raised or lowered an octave. Shall we just put it down to you being a werewolf, sweetheart? It’s probably for the best, the only other option is plain bad acting.

Caroline brought some serious whoop-ass today. I don’t think letting her mother find out she’s a vampire while her face was covered in blood was the best idea, but it was a great scene. And the more I love her and the longer Katherine’s around, the more I dislike Elena. She was dull and whiny again this week and something just has to give. Preferably her neck, but I don’t want to go giving Hot Uncle anymore ideas.

And that twist at the end. I love The Vampire Diaries balls-out-and-to-the-wall approach to plots. They push the limits every single episode. But giving Hot Uncle Lockwood a history/present with Katherine may have been going too far. I know that Nina Dobrev is a pretty woman and I get that Katherine has a vampiric allure, but really? All these men want Katherine/Elena? Am I missing something? If both gals were played by a perpetually nude Megan Fox I could maybe understand it, but right now there is just too much Dobrev-loving.

And I shall leave you with this: Tyler kinda-sorta wants to be a werewolf. He has to kill someone for that to happen. He’s buddying up with a guy who can resurrect soon after death. Do I sense Tyler’s future here? (On a related note, am I the only one slashing Tyler/Jeremy like woah? Just askin’.)

What did you think about ‘Kill Or Be Killed’? Has the one facial expression and its owner left town? Will Jeremy let Tyler kill him? Will Mama Cop get mind-wiped by Damon or will she find a way to keep her memories? Will Katherine go after Matt next? Will Bonnie ever get a non-witchy storyline? Is Amy ever going to get it on with Tyler? Let us know in the comments below!